My wonderful in-laws came into town for the night. Garr met Greg and Julia at their basketball practice. Garr left practice a few minutes early to head back to our house for dinner. He stumbled in the windy, dark night and fell face first into a rock planter. He was pretty hurt. Some nice lady helped him up and got him to his car. I was shocked to see him come in with a bloody face. I quickly grabbed his arm and made him sit down. I'm sure I fussed over him way more than he would've liked, but I gave him a full assessment. I was so worried about him. A few minutes later, Greg came in the door and saw his Dad. He was shocked, too. Greg doctored him up nicely and checked him over. Other than a really beat up face, some bruised ribs, and a bruised ego (as he said), I think he is going to be okay. He was so devastated that he had fallen. I think it made him feel old. I think I was extra concerned because he's the only Grandpa we've still got. Oh, how I wish Greg's parents were younger than mine, instead of the other way around. I sure love them.
I made my famous panzanella for dinner. Lill was thrilled. She loves it, too. Julia was also a really happy camper. We had rotisserie chicken and salad and leftover raspberry jello. It was fun to eat with Greg's parents. They all rushed out the door after dinner so that Grandpa could take the girls shopping for their Christmas present. Greg and his mom went along, too. I stayed home and wrestled Lance to sleep. He's been a real bear at bedtime lately.
When they all came back, Garr gave me one of the proof copies of the life history of his parents and grandparents. I took the pretty, little book back to my bed and climbed in. I settled in to read about Garr's grandmother Essie Calder Gardner. I had no idea the heart-wrenching story I was about to be immersed in.
Essie was the second of eight children. Her older brother was only a year and a half older, and she adored him. When he was sixteen years old, he injured his shoulder and had surgery at Christmastime. His wound became infected and he died. It was an absolute heartbreak, as you can imagine. Essie and her siblings were home all alone for Christmas. Her devastated parents came home from the hospital, but about two weeks later, Essie's mother, Phebe, headed back to deliver a brand-new baby. Unfortunately Phebe and the baby did not survive the ordeal. Essie was fifteen years old. She had five younger siblings to care for, and one was paralyzed from polio. Her father was beside himself with grief.
For years Essie toiled from sun up to sun down caring for the family. She sewed all of the clothing, preserved all of their food for winter, cooked, and washed, and cleaned every day. She cared for the whole family when they all got measles (including her!). She wasn't able to attend school or socialize. It was a very difficult time for her. She was also in the depths of despair. For awhile, she trudged along very angry at God.
One night, she had a dream. She said that her beautiful mother came to her on a moonbeam. She told her that she loved her, but that she had trusted her with the care of these little ones since she could not be there, and that she both needed and believed in Essie. That dream touched her heart so much. She woke up a different person. She turned to Heavenly Father for strength and felt her burdens lighten immediately, even though her work load only increased.
My eyes were drooping closed when I got to the part where she fell in love (mostly over the kitchen sink, she says, because she was still so busy), and Louis Lavon Gardner asked her to marry him. The sad part was that Essie had now cared for the family for almost five years (I think) and her father begged her not to leave. He put so much pressure on her, that her fiancé walked out the door, saying it was unfair, and he couldn't wait forever. I can't imagine a father doing that to his faithful daughter. Essie cried for a week straight. And kept up with her duties. She was so torn. She loved her family so much.
I know the story ends in a happy marriage. But I shut the book with tears in my eyes, too sleepy to go on, and so sad for Essie. I just could not imagine enduring all that she had.
In October 2013 General Conference, Elder Richard J. Maynes said, "Our ability to endure to the end in righteousness will be in direct proportion to the strength of our testimony and the depth of our conversion."
I loved how Essie's whole perspective changed when she laid her troubles at the feet of the Savior. Her situation didn't change, but her heart did. Elder Maynes said that we will overcome some of our challenges, but many of our trials will remain with us throughout our entire lives here on this earth. We know from Joseph Smith's plea in Liberty jail, that all of the challenges we face, if successfully endured, will be for our ultimate good. The Lord promised that our afflictions will be "but a small moment." And if we endure it well, "God shall exalt [us] on high."
I've thought a lot about that "small moment" phrase. It must have felt never-ending to Essie. But as I read it in an ancestral life history, it IS but a small moment. It only lasts a few pages. And now that whole story has been resolved for almost a hundred years. Essie probably hardly ever thinks of those difficult days. Our challenges can seem so large when we are in the middle of them! It is hard to think beyond what we are going through. But someday our story will be written. And the trials will be but a small moment. The longer story will be what is most important. What will our legacy be? Our ability to endure is in direct proportion to our testimony and depth of conversion. It is the only way.
I'm thankful for the faithful lives and testimonies of those who have gone before. I hope Essie knows how her story affected me. I will someday hug her and thank her for her faith and perseverance. She raised a beautiful and talented daughter, Birdie, who is the mother of Garr--and he's an amazing, faithful priesthood holder, and a sealer in the temple. Garr (Gardner) is the father of my amazing and faithful husband, and he is the father of our six, beautiful children. As I tuck my little ones in bed at night, I will now remember that wonderful legacy running through their veins. We can do hard things. Essie did them. We can, too.
I made my famous panzanella for dinner. Lill was thrilled. She loves it, too. Julia was also a really happy camper. We had rotisserie chicken and salad and leftover raspberry jello. It was fun to eat with Greg's parents. They all rushed out the door after dinner so that Grandpa could take the girls shopping for their Christmas present. Greg and his mom went along, too. I stayed home and wrestled Lance to sleep. He's been a real bear at bedtime lately.
When they all came back, Garr gave me one of the proof copies of the life history of his parents and grandparents. I took the pretty, little book back to my bed and climbed in. I settled in to read about Garr's grandmother Essie Calder Gardner. I had no idea the heart-wrenching story I was about to be immersed in.
Essie was the second of eight children. Her older brother was only a year and a half older, and she adored him. When he was sixteen years old, he injured his shoulder and had surgery at Christmastime. His wound became infected and he died. It was an absolute heartbreak, as you can imagine. Essie and her siblings were home all alone for Christmas. Her devastated parents came home from the hospital, but about two weeks later, Essie's mother, Phebe, headed back to deliver a brand-new baby. Unfortunately Phebe and the baby did not survive the ordeal. Essie was fifteen years old. She had five younger siblings to care for, and one was paralyzed from polio. Her father was beside himself with grief.
For years Essie toiled from sun up to sun down caring for the family. She sewed all of the clothing, preserved all of their food for winter, cooked, and washed, and cleaned every day. She cared for the whole family when they all got measles (including her!). She wasn't able to attend school or socialize. It was a very difficult time for her. She was also in the depths of despair. For awhile, she trudged along very angry at God.
One night, she had a dream. She said that her beautiful mother came to her on a moonbeam. She told her that she loved her, but that she had trusted her with the care of these little ones since she could not be there, and that she both needed and believed in Essie. That dream touched her heart so much. She woke up a different person. She turned to Heavenly Father for strength and felt her burdens lighten immediately, even though her work load only increased.
My eyes were drooping closed when I got to the part where she fell in love (mostly over the kitchen sink, she says, because she was still so busy), and Louis Lavon Gardner asked her to marry him. The sad part was that Essie had now cared for the family for almost five years (I think) and her father begged her not to leave. He put so much pressure on her, that her fiancé walked out the door, saying it was unfair, and he couldn't wait forever. I can't imagine a father doing that to his faithful daughter. Essie cried for a week straight. And kept up with her duties. She was so torn. She loved her family so much.
I know the story ends in a happy marriage. But I shut the book with tears in my eyes, too sleepy to go on, and so sad for Essie. I just could not imagine enduring all that she had.
In October 2013 General Conference, Elder Richard J. Maynes said, "Our ability to endure to the end in righteousness will be in direct proportion to the strength of our testimony and the depth of our conversion."
I loved how Essie's whole perspective changed when she laid her troubles at the feet of the Savior. Her situation didn't change, but her heart did. Elder Maynes said that we will overcome some of our challenges, but many of our trials will remain with us throughout our entire lives here on this earth. We know from Joseph Smith's plea in Liberty jail, that all of the challenges we face, if successfully endured, will be for our ultimate good. The Lord promised that our afflictions will be "but a small moment." And if we endure it well, "God shall exalt [us] on high."
I've thought a lot about that "small moment" phrase. It must have felt never-ending to Essie. But as I read it in an ancestral life history, it IS but a small moment. It only lasts a few pages. And now that whole story has been resolved for almost a hundred years. Essie probably hardly ever thinks of those difficult days. Our challenges can seem so large when we are in the middle of them! It is hard to think beyond what we are going through. But someday our story will be written. And the trials will be but a small moment. The longer story will be what is most important. What will our legacy be? Our ability to endure is in direct proportion to our testimony and depth of conversion. It is the only way.
I'm thankful for the faithful lives and testimonies of those who have gone before. I hope Essie knows how her story affected me. I will someday hug her and thank her for her faith and perseverance. She raised a beautiful and talented daughter, Birdie, who is the mother of Garr--and he's an amazing, faithful priesthood holder, and a sealer in the temple. Garr (Gardner) is the father of my amazing and faithful husband, and he is the father of our six, beautiful children. As I tuck my little ones in bed at night, I will now remember that wonderful legacy running through their veins. We can do hard things. Essie did them. We can, too.
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| Thank you, Essie. I love you! |
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