December 24, 2017

I'm most definitely not the first to say it, but Christmas Eve on a Sunday is a wonderful thing.  It's always felt a little like Sunday to me anyway.  The boys have to continued to bounce off the walls, but we managed to get ourselves ready for church. We had a 1:00 service.  Julia and I were as nervous as ever, but we ran through our duet on the piano three times with perfection.  I put my arm around her and told her that I was pretty proud of her.  As far as I can remember, this is my first time performing in church.  I am 38 years old.  She is only 13.  But she plays so beautifully, I knew we would be fine.  And I really tried to hide my nervousness from her.

Greg tried to give us some comforting words and encouraged us to relax.  "Why are you so nervous?" he asked.  "You know the song so well!"  I explained to him that it was just a bit outside of our comfort zone, for one.  And, yes, we had put in the practice.  But there is one thing we just can't account for.  "What's that?" he asked me.  Our nervousness, I told him.  I have no idea what will happen to our minds and bodies when we step up to that grand piano with a church hall full of people.

When the time came, we walked together up to the front.  We took a deep breath.  I felt a moment of panic looking at the first note, which looked so unfamiliar.  Calm down, I told myself.  Just play it how you practiced.

We got going so beautifully that I had chills run the length of my body.  I was so pleased that we were doing it.  On about the third page, we went a bit off course.  First I made a little mistake, then Julia, and it sent our hearts aflutter.  We recovered.  Or so I thought.  Julia messed up a bit more, and suddenly the whole page looked like Chinese!  She dropped off for a couple of chords while my mind was racing full speed.  I had visions of running off the stand, crying.  And those visions were not of me, but my beautiful 13-year-old daughter!  I muttered under my breath (but unfortunately loud enough for Emma to hear in the audience--as she and Greg were the only ones who had heard the song enough to know fully that we were stumbling), "Turn the page, Julia, and hang in there!"  She was our page turner, and for a split second, she forgot to do even that.  But she heard my command, and turned that page.  All of this transpired in the time it takes to breathe in and out.  We started going again, and finished the last few pages pretty well.  And frankly, I'm so surprised we made it!

Julia and Mom

Julia and I went back to our seats together.  And the only discouraging thing for us was that we knew it so well.  But playing it at home, and performing it are two very different things.  Any musician knows that.  Greg and Emma showered us with praise and assured us that only they would know we had make a mistake.  Which was very kind.  And we all rallied around Julia who looked pale and frightened.

After church-- Breathing a sigh of relief!

Christmas Eve - Julia, Mom, Lance, Owen, Austin, Miles, Emma

My heart just soared with pride over her.  Our song was so difficult.  And it was well beyond our capabilities.  And we gave it our all.  I just can't get over the fact that she is only thirteen.  And she sat next to me on that bench, and even I couldn't keep my nerves in check.  As we drove home, I told her that my favorite part of our song would always be the hours we sat, shoulder to shoulder, laughing at our mistakes, clapping at our successes, practicing our hearts out for our Christmas Eve duet.  Those memories alone made it all worth it.

Emma and Mom

Mom and Owen

Mom and Miles

Mom and Miles

Kissing me back!

Mom and Austin

Mom and Lance

Dad and Mom

Puzzle Time!

We set the most beautiful Christmas Eve dinner.  We used my fine China dishes and my white table cloth.  I baked a honey-glazed ham, baked potatoes, and hot rolls.  We feasted together, so excited for all that lay in store.  Christmas Eve is my favorite.  I love the focus on our Savior.  Greg read the nativity story from the Bible, while we all acted it out.  We have enough contributors, finally, to make it quite the production.  I loved the glow in the children's eyes as we sang Silent Night to end our play.

Emma the Angel

Reenacting the Nativity

Julia- Mary
Miles - Joseph

The Wisemen
Mom, Owen, Lance

Austin - the shepherd

Greg and the kids have been working hard at a huge puzzle, and they finished it off tonight.  Then it was Christmas pajamas for all.  We were cozy and warm, with the fire going in the fireplace, as we watched, Home Alone.

Christmas Jammies!

My heart is so full.  I am so grateful to know that long ago, in a stable, the Savior came into the world.  I am grateful for the way we celebrate it.  I am grateful for the warm feelings and loving memories that surround this time of year.

Mom texted us all from Maryland, wishing us all a Merry Christmas.  And as everyone sent back and forth pictures of their families in pajamas, having finished up the evening festivities, I felt so close to these precious people in my life.  Mom sounded a bit lonely for Dad.  And all of our hearts were aching a bit.  But I thought about how close I felt just seeing the pictures and reading the words of each of my siblings.  Maybe it is that way for Dad, I thought.  Maybe he still feels close to us.  We just need to remember his love, and remember the way he read to us from the Bible every Christmas Eve, and the way he never missed a year of giving us pajamas.  And then he feels close, too.

Merry Christmas to all...and to all a Good Night!

Merry Christmas, My Love!