February 14, 2017

Today is Valentine's Day.  I had managed to help the boys get their Valentines ready yesterday while I was making dinner.  Thankfully, Austin didn't need a box, they were making one at school.  And Miles, bless his heart, was happy to take an old SONOS speaker box that was black with some cool red designs on it, had a handle on it, and a small white space on the front, on which he wrote his name and "Put Candy Here" (with an arrow).  When I showed it to him at first, he said, "Umm. Okay, I'll take it." It was so simple.  And classic Miles.  I love it!

After the kids were all out the door, I got on that lovely treadmill.  I was feeling a little blue because I had found out another thing Austin had done to get in trouble at school.  He had purposely filled in random answers on his math worksheet just so he could be the first one done in his class.  He wanted to get to the fun STEM boxes that his teacher has for the kids to work on.  STEM boxes are full of items for the kids to use to solve engineering problems, like building a bridge strong enough to hold four little men. Austin LOVES working on the STEM boxes.  Austin and I had to have a little talk about his worksheet before school.  His teacher had been so upset with him, that she banned him from playing with the STEM boxes after math.  He was so sad.  Well, after some talking and loving and promising to do better, I sent Austin out the door.  He jumped on his bike and started to ride off.  Miles was still getting on his bike, and he said to me, "I know Austin has come up with some pretty crazy ideas, but I never thought he'd stoop to this level."  At least that made me smile.  Miles would never dream of filling in the wrong answers.  Ha ha.

Well, I was feeling worried about Austin when I stepped onto the treadmill.  I started wondering if I'm just losing the battle with everything.  All at once, I thought of how much my kids resist cleaning and helping, and how much they want to just sit and play the dumb xbox.  And I started thinking about what a couch potato Lance is, and how many times the little boys don't want to eat anything healthy.  And how many snacks they eat.  And....and...and..  I was feeling like I've lost control as a mother.

I started to run.  I decided to set my pace and hold it steady for four miles.  No sprinting to get it done faster!  After a half mile, I was so bored, and tempted to start sprinting.  Desperate for a distraction,  I started watching little photo slide shows on my phone.  The photo app puts these little random slideshows together with music.  I started seeing pictures of me making cupcakes with the kids, or taking them to the park, random photos of bath time, or me and the kids on Halloween.  I saw pictures of scouts and school projects and sports games and Christmas time.  I saw pictures of bike rides and trips to the Zoo, pictures of me splashing at the beach with my kids, and Greg coaching the kids in sports.  We were smiling on vacations and in the car and in the pool.  There were pictures with cousins and grandparents, at weddings and in the backyard.  Pictures of us at the lake, and smiling on hikes and bike rides.  It even mixed in videos, little snippets with the cutest little voices laughing and talking, singing Happy Birthday, or Lance saying his ABCs.  The music was beautiful, and I started feeling tears mixing in with the sweat.  It was like stepping back and looking at my life in a different way.  I saw myself constantly holding someone's hand, or giving a hug, or smiling into a cute little face.  I saw myself kissing Greg, or laughing with my family.  It was such a special tender mercy.  I hadn't expected to see myself this way when I turned on the slide shows to pass the time. All I could think, as I ran and ran, is what an absolutely beautiful life I have.  And what an absolutely good job I'm doing as a mother.  I feel like Heavenly Father sent that message straight to me.  My heart was so completely full.

When I looked down, I'd gone three and half miles, without a break. So I sprinted the last half mile, and stepped off.  Exhausted physically, refreshed emotionally.

Owen and his candy stash!

I showered and ran to Lin's to pick up some things for Valentine's Day.  I bought Greg and the kids some treats and balloons, and then decorated the table for a candlelit dinner.  We had big turkey sandwiches on sourdough bread with a fun assortment of chips and pink punch.  That was my Valentine's gift to me--no cooking.  The kids loved the sandwich spread! Especially Austin.  He was in heaven! I put a little Valentine treat on each of their plates for dessert.  It was really fun.

Almost before we were done, I had to rush out the door.  I was in charge of the Young Women's activity and we were doing something SO crazy.  We were babysitting at the church for any couple who wanted to go out for Valentine's day.  My lovely Miamaids had worked so hard making cookies and games and photo booths to entertain the kids.  We had over fifty kids running wild for two hours in the church gym.  It took all the effort of the Young Women and the leaders to keep everyone alive, but the kids had such a blast.  And I think the parents were so grateful.  And we won't be repeating that service ever again.  Ha ha! Owen came to the church with me and he was so cute, doing the Hokey Pokey and playing Bingo.  It was really fun.

Valentine's Day Dinner --waiting for Greg and Julia to make it home from basketball!

I literally stumbled in the house completely frazzled.  The first thing I noticed is that the kitchen was sparkling clean.  And the house was silent.  Greg came out from the back wearing scrubs and a big smile.  He shooed the girls upstairs while I went to put Owen to bed.  And then I came down.  He had a big sign hanging in our hallway that said, "Mom and Dad only beyond this point!"  It was awesome.  He had spread rose petals around the room and bathtub, turned on all of our electric candles, and had a big bubble bath waiting for me.  I let the stress just melt off of me in the tub.  And then I just felt grateful for my romantic husband.  He stayed home alone on Valentine's Day, so that I could go tend the whole world (it felt like), and he had loved me even while I was gone by cleaning the house and putting the kids to bed and thinking of me.  We enjoyed a romantic evening together in our beautiful candlelit bedroom.

Today was filled with school and running and piano lessons and track practice and basketball practice and dinner and Young Women's, but I'm mostly thankful that my life is filled with Greg and Emma and Julia and Miles and Austin and Owen and Lance.  They are all my favorite Valentines ever.