I'm completely off track on my running. Yesterday, Emma announced that we only had ten school days until Spring Break. I paused right in the middle of my work in the kitchen. Greg and I leave for Hawaii at the end of Spring Break. That means...yes, that means I only have ten school days until Hawaii!! I started whooping and hollering, which sent me into such a coughing fit I nearly keeled over. But I did have the presence of mind to proclaim between hacking coughs, "Kids, this is why you don't smoke!" They had all been anxiously watching me struggle, but that one, well-placed comment sent them all into fits of laughter.
I noticed a post by a friend yesterday on Facebook. She is with her husband in Hawaii. She was standing on a rocky shore in her running clothes. She said, "That was the most amazing run I have ever had in my entire life." I took a deep, raspy breath when I saw that. I was hoping to be running ten miles by the time Greg and I land in Hawaii. Now it feels like I've had a major setback. It feels like I will be too low on energy to even run! I've still got a couple weeks to get back to normal, but I keep getting sick! This is my third major sickness since Thanksgiving. At this point, I'm just praying I will be feeling well enough to have a great weekend for Austin's baptism on Saturday. But I would LOVE to be able to run along the beach. Please, oh please!
Well, I can see out my window that the sun is making its way into a bright blue sky. It's still supposed to be in the 50s today, but the weather forecast is showing that it will be in the upper sixties starting on Thursday. The boys have finished up their basketball season, but Greg and I have loved having them be active and busy. So, without hardly skipping a beat, Austin starts tennis this week and Miles starts golf. What a perfect time of year to move to outdoor sports! Also, Owen and Austin will be starting baseball in the next few weeks. Julia is just starting another basketball league with Greg coaching. So, all we can do is take a deep breath and keep on keepin' up with our busy, happy schedule.
I'm so grateful for all of the opportunities my children have. Raising busy, active, healthy kids is my dream. It might kill me, but it's my dream! This morning when Austin started to cry at the thought of going to piano lessons after school, I looked at him and said, "I'll sign you up for all the sports you want, but you have to do piano lessons because that's what I want." In this house, we do what mom wants! Ha ha! But that got him on the piano to practice. And he's turning into a fantastic little piano player, I might add. Just like all of his older siblings.
Oh, and by the way, now it's nine school days until we get a break! Wahoo! (Cough, cough.)
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Monday, February 27, 2017
February 27, 2017
Ah, lovely Monday. The house is quiet and clean. The skies outside are very gloomy, and it's only in the 50s today, but I've felt warmly tucked into my house all day. Twice during my cleaning, while listening to General Conference talks, I've heard the word SERENITY, and both times it has caught my soul's attention. In thinking about who and what I want to be, I like that word--serenity.
You see, I've been fighting off some non-serene thoughts these last few days. At some points, I've been downright angry. And that's NOT how I want to be.
I've always been super competitive. Whether it was Roy Rec basketball, passing off the countries and capitols in sixth grade, or playing a game in Primary, I wanted to win. I've always been that way. But who knew I would take my competitiveness to an insanely different level. I'm turning out to be competitive even as a sick person! If I'm not careful, I'll be one of those people with a headstone that says, "See! I told you I was sick!" And my family will sit around at my funeral and say, "Well, we sure are glad to see that mom's feeling better!" And I'll scream down from heaven, "I'm NOT feeling better!"
When I was dragging my sick self around trying to get ready for Austin's birthday party, I kept looking forward to Greg coming home to help. But when he straggled in with A FEVER and went straight to bed, I was anything but full of serenity towards him. I can hardly believe myself! I mean, who feels anger towards a person in bed with a fever?!? Me, apparently. That's how crazy I've become. Greg told me that it's like I'm walking around with a chip on my shoulder. And I guess that's pretty accurate, because when I did the Sunday dinner dishes while he rested on the couch, I was feeling mighty chippy. Part of me wants to prove that I'm sicker, and another part of me wants to prove that I'm tougher. That's actually a pretty sick way to think about it, if you really think about it.
Even with all of the service my family has been giving me, the minute I have to get up and do something while someone else "rests" I start to feel anger inside. And everyone nicely offers advice like, "Mother, just leave those dishes, or that laundry. Please just rest and relax." But even that advice frustrates me, because we all know who I'll be "leaving it" for. So, I heft that mighty chip up onto my shoulder and get to work. It's been loads of fun.
So, not only have I been suffering with a massive sickness this week (yes, I'm THAT sick!), I've also had to suffer with a massive bad attitude, too. It's been, well, exhausting.
Once when our family went boating with another family in our ward, I joked to the father, who is a marriage therapist, that he was probably analyzing and seeing all sorts of things to say about our marriage. He just laughed and said, "No, but I do see that you guys are rather competitive with one another." It was laughs all around. (Until we get sick at the same time!)
Greg is ultra competitive, too. It's something that I was very attracted to when I first met him. On our first real date, he took me bowling. I had a broken finger on my right hand, and I couldn't bowl properly. So, to be a perfect gentleman, he offered to bowl left handed with me. I thought it was the sweetest thing. However, we were with another couple, and it would've killed us both to lose to them, so Greg tried really hard and bowled well over 200 with his left hand! Competitive much? And when we try to play a backyard basketball game with the kids, Greg and I are on opposite teams. I like to think we are the facilitators, passing and making it possible for the little ones to get a chance. Greg likes to think we are in a full-on game against one another. He blocks my shots, steals the ball from me as I make a nice little pass to a CHILD, and body slams me any chance he can get. It's awesome.
We've had a lot of fun on dates playing tennis or pickle ball, but I usually end up a sweaty mess trying to beat him. Somehow he can conserve his energy and perfectly place the ball so that I am running all over the court. There are things that I'm better at, though. Like running. And maybe that's why I've loved being running partners with him! Ha ha! He jokes that he just prefers the view from behind!
There's no way to win at being the sickest. Or the hardest working. We both just end up frustrated. It is so hard to even compare what the two of us do every day. Somehow, when it comes to my marriage, I need to stop being competitive. I need to be kind and graceful.
I felt a touch better today. So I worked really hard to clean the whole house and finish all of the laundry. And while I worked I listened to the sweet words of the General Authorities. I read my scriptures and said my prayers. And twice I heard the word serenity spoken. We need to develop an inner serenity that allows us to be Christ-like. I liked that so much. Serenity sounds so peaceful and kind. Serenity sounds loving, like someone who is willing to serve, not someone who is angry and carrying around a grudge. Serenity sounds like something we feel inside our heart and soul.
I'm going to try really hard to develop peace in my heart. I need peace to accept the way things are. I need peace to relax when everything is messy and chaotic. I need peace to enjoy the beautiful blessings of life right this minute. Somehow, this weekend, I let my sickness cloud my mind and amplify my competitive nature. It wasn't fun. Win or lose.
I'm so thankful for the way the spirit entered my heart today and cleared out any angry feelings. And when Greg texted me to see how I was feeling and to offer love and sympathy, I felt love and concern for him and the way HE was feeling. That's how I know serenity was inching its way in and anger was inching its way out. I'm a work in progress...and that's the truth!
You see, I've been fighting off some non-serene thoughts these last few days. At some points, I've been downright angry. And that's NOT how I want to be.
I've always been super competitive. Whether it was Roy Rec basketball, passing off the countries and capitols in sixth grade, or playing a game in Primary, I wanted to win. I've always been that way. But who knew I would take my competitiveness to an insanely different level. I'm turning out to be competitive even as a sick person! If I'm not careful, I'll be one of those people with a headstone that says, "See! I told you I was sick!" And my family will sit around at my funeral and say, "Well, we sure are glad to see that mom's feeling better!" And I'll scream down from heaven, "I'm NOT feeling better!"
When I was dragging my sick self around trying to get ready for Austin's birthday party, I kept looking forward to Greg coming home to help. But when he straggled in with A FEVER and went straight to bed, I was anything but full of serenity towards him. I can hardly believe myself! I mean, who feels anger towards a person in bed with a fever?!? Me, apparently. That's how crazy I've become. Greg told me that it's like I'm walking around with a chip on my shoulder. And I guess that's pretty accurate, because when I did the Sunday dinner dishes while he rested on the couch, I was feeling mighty chippy. Part of me wants to prove that I'm sicker, and another part of me wants to prove that I'm tougher. That's actually a pretty sick way to think about it, if you really think about it.
Even with all of the service my family has been giving me, the minute I have to get up and do something while someone else "rests" I start to feel anger inside. And everyone nicely offers advice like, "Mother, just leave those dishes, or that laundry. Please just rest and relax." But even that advice frustrates me, because we all know who I'll be "leaving it" for. So, I heft that mighty chip up onto my shoulder and get to work. It's been loads of fun.
So, not only have I been suffering with a massive sickness this week (yes, I'm THAT sick!), I've also had to suffer with a massive bad attitude, too. It's been, well, exhausting.
Once when our family went boating with another family in our ward, I joked to the father, who is a marriage therapist, that he was probably analyzing and seeing all sorts of things to say about our marriage. He just laughed and said, "No, but I do see that you guys are rather competitive with one another." It was laughs all around. (Until we get sick at the same time!)
Greg is ultra competitive, too. It's something that I was very attracted to when I first met him. On our first real date, he took me bowling. I had a broken finger on my right hand, and I couldn't bowl properly. So, to be a perfect gentleman, he offered to bowl left handed with me. I thought it was the sweetest thing. However, we were with another couple, and it would've killed us both to lose to them, so Greg tried really hard and bowled well over 200 with his left hand! Competitive much? And when we try to play a backyard basketball game with the kids, Greg and I are on opposite teams. I like to think we are the facilitators, passing and making it possible for the little ones to get a chance. Greg likes to think we are in a full-on game against one another. He blocks my shots, steals the ball from me as I make a nice little pass to a CHILD, and body slams me any chance he can get. It's awesome.
We've had a lot of fun on dates playing tennis or pickle ball, but I usually end up a sweaty mess trying to beat him. Somehow he can conserve his energy and perfectly place the ball so that I am running all over the court. There are things that I'm better at, though. Like running. And maybe that's why I've loved being running partners with him! Ha ha! He jokes that he just prefers the view from behind!
There's no way to win at being the sickest. Or the hardest working. We both just end up frustrated. It is so hard to even compare what the two of us do every day. Somehow, when it comes to my marriage, I need to stop being competitive. I need to be kind and graceful.
I felt a touch better today. So I worked really hard to clean the whole house and finish all of the laundry. And while I worked I listened to the sweet words of the General Authorities. I read my scriptures and said my prayers. And twice I heard the word serenity spoken. We need to develop an inner serenity that allows us to be Christ-like. I liked that so much. Serenity sounds so peaceful and kind. Serenity sounds loving, like someone who is willing to serve, not someone who is angry and carrying around a grudge. Serenity sounds like something we feel inside our heart and soul.
I'm going to try really hard to develop peace in my heart. I need peace to accept the way things are. I need peace to relax when everything is messy and chaotic. I need peace to enjoy the beautiful blessings of life right this minute. Somehow, this weekend, I let my sickness cloud my mind and amplify my competitive nature. It wasn't fun. Win or lose.
I'm so thankful for the way the spirit entered my heart today and cleared out any angry feelings. And when Greg texted me to see how I was feeling and to offer love and sympathy, I felt love and concern for him and the way HE was feeling. That's how I know serenity was inching its way in and anger was inching its way out. I'm a work in progress...and that's the truth!
Sunday, February 26, 2017
February 26, 2017
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| Mommy and Austin |
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| Daddy and Austin |
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| My Handsome, 8-Year-Old Austin! |
Austin has been such a joy to me for these eight years. He's loud and gregarious. He's so full of energy and excitement. Austin is a great friend to everyone, and everyone wants to be his friend. He's extremely tall, and very handsome, in my opinion! He's super smart and inquisitive. He's probably asked me a hundred times lately to fully explain the way a car engine works. I've tried my best to talk about ignitions and batteries and pistons and gasoline and gears, but he always has more questions that far surpass my knowledge. And finally, after I had done my best to simplify the explanations until he was satisfied, he laid back in his bed one night, contentedly, and said, "Good. Now I can build my own car." He's a smiley guy who always has a plan. He loves to eat; and he loves to have me scratch his back at night. He's such a special part of my life. I am so blessed to have him.
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| New scriptures! All ready for his baptism on Saturday. |
Saturday, February 25, 2017
February 25, 2017
Ugh! We are still so sick. Greg and I mostly stayed in our bed all day. Emma organized the troops and gave us such a nice surprise. They shut our door and got to work. We could hear them all out there cleaning. Then, they turned on some Hawaiian music and came in our room with leis on. They gave us shell necklaces and a menu. Greg and I got to order our lunch, complete with drinks and dessert. It was so cute the way they all served us and pampered us. I'm still amazed at how well they cleaned the whole house and fixed us lunch. It was so sweet.
I'm pretty miserable right now, and I'm ready for bed, but I wanted to mention two books I've read in my time in bed. I actually read one book in the bathtub. It was a little book written by Meg Johnson. She is married to my cousin, Whit. She is a quadriplegic and a great girl. She is a motivational speaker and a beautiful inspiration to a lot of people. I read the whole thing in the bath. It was great to think about being grateful and having a great attitude.
I also finished "Marathon of Faith" by Janet and Rex Lee. It was so great! I cried at the end when it told about his death. I sat on the side of my bed, sniffling and coughing and crying. Their story has been on my mind ever since I finished it. Today, while napping, sort of, I started wondering what had ever happened to their children. I felt like I had been so involved in their life. After reading about the successes of their son Michael at BYU's law school, I wondered if he held any big positions like his dad. I repeated his name in my head to see if I'd ever heard of him since--Michael Lee...Michael Lee... Hmm. All of a sudden, I popped open my eyes. Mike Lee! Senator Mike Lee! I hadn't ever known that was Rex Lee's son. I grabbed my phone and read a little about Mike Lee. It's fun to feel a connection.
The best part of the book really was the incredible story of faith in the face of many, many trials. My heart was touched, and I really look up Rex and Janet Lee. I only hope that I can live a life with as much faith. I loved this quote that I found by Carlfred Broderick: "The gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against pain. It is resource in event of pain." We will all have trials and hardships in this life, some more than others, but faith in Jesus Christ will help us through, and help us to accept what comes our way. I'm so thankful for great examples around me to show me that this is so.
I'm pretty miserable right now, and I'm ready for bed, but I wanted to mention two books I've read in my time in bed. I actually read one book in the bathtub. It was a little book written by Meg Johnson. She is married to my cousin, Whit. She is a quadriplegic and a great girl. She is a motivational speaker and a beautiful inspiration to a lot of people. I read the whole thing in the bath. It was great to think about being grateful and having a great attitude.
I also finished "Marathon of Faith" by Janet and Rex Lee. It was so great! I cried at the end when it told about his death. I sat on the side of my bed, sniffling and coughing and crying. Their story has been on my mind ever since I finished it. Today, while napping, sort of, I started wondering what had ever happened to their children. I felt like I had been so involved in their life. After reading about the successes of their son Michael at BYU's law school, I wondered if he held any big positions like his dad. I repeated his name in my head to see if I'd ever heard of him since--Michael Lee...Michael Lee... Hmm. All of a sudden, I popped open my eyes. Mike Lee! Senator Mike Lee! I hadn't ever known that was Rex Lee's son. I grabbed my phone and read a little about Mike Lee. It's fun to feel a connection.
The best part of the book really was the incredible story of faith in the face of many, many trials. My heart was touched, and I really look up Rex and Janet Lee. I only hope that I can live a life with as much faith. I loved this quote that I found by Carlfred Broderick: "The gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against pain. It is resource in event of pain." We will all have trials and hardships in this life, some more than others, but faith in Jesus Christ will help us through, and help us to accept what comes our way. I'm so thankful for great examples around me to show me that this is so.
February 24, 2017
I'm still sick in bed. I woke up feeling like death warmed over. The only problem was that Austin's birthday party was today. I dragged myself to the store last night with Julia's help and bought everything I could think of that we might need. I somehow got the kids out the door and then got back into bed with Lance. Lance has been so in love with the movie Cars. He will watch it all day if I let him. It's come in handy very nicely this week. So while he watched Cars, I stressed about the party, puttered around here and there to get ready, and rested on my bed in between. Somehow, by about 1:30, I was showered and dressed and baking a Minecraft Cake. The kids came home from school and helped a ton. They were all so excited. I was expecting Greg to get home early from work so that he could help, but when he came in he just went straight to bed. He was feverish again!
Soon, the doorbell started ringing and for the next hour and a half, I managed a really fun 8-year-old birthday party. Austin had a great time. And I was pretty proud of how we pulled it all off. By the time it was all over, I was exhausted. As the night wore on, I just kept getting worse and worse. By bedtime, I felt so miserable. All I can think is that I was blessed to get up and host Austin's party. I love him so much, and although I probably should have just cancelled, I couldn't stand to disappoint him. He was so excited all week long, and the way he ran in the door after school was priceless. I'm so thankful that it all went well.
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| Austin and the party kids. If you look closely, Owen is in the middle (arms wide) and he's across from Avree. So much fun! |
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| Yep, Austin is the tall guy in the center. Happy Birthday, buddy. We love you! |
Thursday, February 23, 2017
February 23, 2017
I'm spending the day sick in bed. I've already read half of a new book today called, "Marathon of Faith" by Rex and Janet Lee. It is all about his experience with cancer. It's a great book so far. It originally belonged to my Grandma Fowler, which warms my heart to think about. She was an avid reader, so I like to imagine that her hands held this same book that my hands are holding. Every time I go up and down my stairs, my eyes settle on the pictures on my ancestor wall. Among my favorites are those of my Grandma Fowler. I think of her often. I really loved her, and still do.
Mom and Dad texted me today and then called to say how much they are enjoying my writings. They are for sure my biggest fans, and I'm so blessed to have their never-ending support. They really know how to make a girl feel good about herself! Some of their comments made me want to go back and re-read some of the things I've written this year. So I read, and read, and read. And it was so fun to read what I had written. It was so fun to relive these moments over the past two months since I started this blog. I'm so very glad that I started this project. I can't imagine writing nearly every day for a year, but that's the plan, and I can only imagine how priceless these writings will be to me. Not to mention how entertaining they will be for my parents!
When I was a little girl, my top lateral incisor teeth never fell out. Eventually the dentist just pulled them out for me. He sent me home with a little tooth box holding my two baby teeth. I was still completely numb when Mom and I stopped at the store on the way home. Mom said I could pick any treat I wanted. I chose a lemon.
And then, my top lateral incisor teeth never grew back. X-rays finally confirmed what we were starting to suspect: I didn't have any top lateral incisor teeth! It wasn't that big of a problem, except that my top two front teeth had grown in, and they had a lot of space to enjoy, so enjoy it they did, spreading very far apart. It became a source of embarrassment for me, and started me on a years-long road of not loving my teeth or my smile. In my sixth-grade school photo, I smiled with my lips closed. So, it was actually with relief that I got braces in the seventh grade.
My orthodontist made the decision to just pull all of my teeth forward one space to close the gap. Then he would just file down my canines to look like incisors. It seemed like an okay plan. But it turned out to be a plan that was stretching on for years! After some time, my mom decided to take me to a new orthodontist. He took off my braces and started all over again with new ones. It was sort of mortifying in my teenager mind. Finally, as I neared high school graduation, it was time to take off my braces. I had literally watched hundreds of kids show up at school through the years with their braces recently removed, sporting a beautiful straight smile. I had seen all of the beautiful pictures in the orthodontist's office. I was completely excited. I felt like I hadn't had a good smile since the second grade! I can so clearly remember the day I got my braces off. I nervously stepped to the mirror and took my first look. And my heart sank. I didn't think it looked right at all. My teeth looked small and pinched, angling inward to make up for the extra space.
Most of the time our own imperfections are biggest in our own minds. Throughout all the years since I had my braces removed, I had to remind myself of that fact many times. In almost every picture I ever saw of myself, I would slightly wince at my smile, take a deep breath, and move forward. I noticed everyone else's beautiful straight teeth, felt a twinge of envy, and then decided to try not to worry about it. I dated. I got married. I had children. I didn't like my teeth.
When we moved to St. George and got established with a new dentist, he had me fill out a questionnaire concerning my dental history. One of the questions asked me to rate my teeth/smile according to how much I was pleased with them. I hesitated on that question. I let my pen hover over the numbers for a while before I finally, honestly, circled a less-than-perfect number. I can't remember what I finally chose. But it was enough to have the dentist bring it up during our first visit. I just laughed. "Oh, it's fine!" I told him. I explained a little bit about my missing teeth and my braces and how I hadn't loved the way it turned out, but that I knew it was just fine. "Nobody else would probably even notice!" I laughed. He did assure me that my teeth looked fine, and that nobody else would probably notice, but he offered me some thoughts about the beauty of veneers. However, when he told me the cost, I just shrugged it off, reminding myself that my teeth were fine!
Still, for the next three or four years, I thought about it. And he would bring it up every so often. I would always tell him it was insane to spend that kind of money when my teeth were fine. One day, he said to me very seriously, "Rindi, I think you are the perfect candidate for veneers. And I think they would make a huge difference to the way you feel about your smile. I want to make you some temporary teeth to try on, just so you can see what it would be like." Normally he charges for these temporary wax teeth, but he offered to do it for free for me. He felt so certain that it would make a big difference. I was still hesitant. So, he insisted.
Greg was with me the day they covered my teeth with these fake wax teeth. It was hilarious! It was like putting on those fake plastic vampire teeth at Halloween. I could hardly look in the mirror because I was giggling so uncontrollably, all the while trying to cover my mouth. Finally, when I could control my laughter, the dentist and his assistants assured me that everyone's first reaction is similar to mine, because it is hard to see yourself with different teeth! They left the room to give me a minute. I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. I could start to see that it looked pretty good. But it just didn't seem worth it for all of the money it cost. And then I looked into Greg's eyes. I expected him to tell me that my normal teeth were fine. You know? The same way you ask your husband if your thighs are too fat and he sighs and says you look great? I expected Greg to say that. I also expected him to say it was too expensive and that it wouldn't make that big of a difference. But he didn't say any of that. He just simply said, "Rindi, you've got to do this." And then I knew that I would do it.
It turned out to be MUCH more traumatic than I ever thought it would be. First, the dentist spent hours filing down my normal teeth to the size of baby teeth. And he had to cut back my gums in order to slip the new veneers up under the gums. Only after my teeth were filed down, could they make the mold and begin the process of crafting the veneers, which would take a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I couldn't exactly go around town with tiny teeth, so they make another wax set which they glue on for a week or two. I felt a little panicked. I asked the dentist if I could please have a mirror to see what he had done to my teeth. It was shocking, but seeing it was better than imagining it. My teeth were ultra sensitive, so I was glad when he finally glued on the wax set and sent me on my way.
Greg and I were right in the middle of training for the marathon. That appointment had taken place on a Friday. The next morning we planned to get up early and run sixteen miles. I had a really hard time sleeping that night, but around four in the morning, I clenched my teeth really hard together and knocked off my wax teeth. I shrieked and ran into the bathroom. There I was, with my little, baby teeth staring back at me. And they were so sensitive that I could hardly open my mouth. Even breathing through my mouth was too cold. I stood there holding my wax teeth in my hand, not knowing what to do. It was like a horror movie. I started to quietly whimper. Just then, Greg came in to the bathroom.
"What's the matter, honey?" he asked as he came to my side.
Keeping my lips mostly closed, I muttered, "My teeth fell off!" I must have looked really devastated. The look of pure, genuine concern on Greg's face really warmed my heart. He felt so bad for me! I eventually decided to try and slip the wax teeth back on, and I found that almost like a retainer, they could sort of stay in place. We decided just to get ready for our run, and by quarter to five, we were running along the dark streets together. I had to be careful with my teeth as we ran. I could still feel the sensitivity if I breathed too quickly through my mouth. And then we got laughing about the whole ordeal. We laughed and laughed as we ran. It turned out to be a glorious morning, a fantastic run, and a memory I hope to never forget. I love running with Greg.
Once at home, I called my dentist. He rushed to meet me at his office, where he more solidly attached my wax teeth, and apologized profusely that they had fallen off. Well, things never got easier for me and my teeth. I had a lot of pain, eventually had two root canals on my front teeth, and struggled with not being able to eat on my front teeth. Even when I got my veneers on, I suffered with pain and sensitivity. But, as I looked into the mirror at my new smile, I was excited! For the first time in many, many years, I liked my smile!
It's now been a couple of years and I still love my smile. Whenever I see pictures of myself, I don't wince or cringe, and take a deep breath. I feel confident and happy. One time, when I took a bite of beef jerky, I broke off one of my veneers! It was horrible! I was so embarrassed to see myself missing a tooth! I wouldn't let any of my family even see. I called the dentist, and he immediately rushed in to reattach it for me. I think it was a Saturday. As I sat down in his chair, I covered my mouth and told him I was too embarrassed to open my mouth for him. He just laughed at me and got started. Veneers aren't supposed to fall off. EVER. So, my dentist felt really bad. I wasn't upset. I just vowed to be more careful with biting into things from now on. But I started to get really worried. What if that had happened while I was out of town? Or while HE was out of town? His assistant told me not to worry. I could've gone to the store and bought denture cream and reattached it temporarily. I don't know why, but learning that tip was a huge relief to me.
One other funny thing that happened was that I developed a lisp with my new teeth. I was so self-conscious as I said a prayer in sacrament meeting with my lovely lisp! The dentist told me it was normal and would go away soon as I got used to my new teeth. But it wasn't going away. Finally, after some time, I talked to my dentist about it. He reluctantly told me that some people never get used to their new teeth, and although it's rare, they keep their lisp. I was horrified! Then I remembered how people said after Joseph Smith chipped his front tooth, he had a lisp the rest of his life. Oh my goodness! What had I done?
One day, I just started noticing that I wasn't sounding so strange, and before I knew it, I was back to talking normally. I still struggle a little bit with air bubbles getting up under my top lip and interfering with my speech (strange, I know!), but other than that I'm back to my regular talkative self.
Most people say they can't even remember what my teeth looked like before. Most people probably don't even notice the difference. But I'm so glad I got to get my teeth fixed. I would have gladly gone the rest of my life with my normal teeth and continued to try and ignore my flaws. That's life. But I'm glad that there was a way to easily fix it, and that Greg was so supportive. Now, I'm all smiles. All the time!
Mom and Dad texted me today and then called to say how much they are enjoying my writings. They are for sure my biggest fans, and I'm so blessed to have their never-ending support. They really know how to make a girl feel good about herself! Some of their comments made me want to go back and re-read some of the things I've written this year. So I read, and read, and read. And it was so fun to read what I had written. It was so fun to relive these moments over the past two months since I started this blog. I'm so very glad that I started this project. I can't imagine writing nearly every day for a year, but that's the plan, and I can only imagine how priceless these writings will be to me. Not to mention how entertaining they will be for my parents!
When I was a little girl, my top lateral incisor teeth never fell out. Eventually the dentist just pulled them out for me. He sent me home with a little tooth box holding my two baby teeth. I was still completely numb when Mom and I stopped at the store on the way home. Mom said I could pick any treat I wanted. I chose a lemon.
And then, my top lateral incisor teeth never grew back. X-rays finally confirmed what we were starting to suspect: I didn't have any top lateral incisor teeth! It wasn't that big of a problem, except that my top two front teeth had grown in, and they had a lot of space to enjoy, so enjoy it they did, spreading very far apart. It became a source of embarrassment for me, and started me on a years-long road of not loving my teeth or my smile. In my sixth-grade school photo, I smiled with my lips closed. So, it was actually with relief that I got braces in the seventh grade.
My orthodontist made the decision to just pull all of my teeth forward one space to close the gap. Then he would just file down my canines to look like incisors. It seemed like an okay plan. But it turned out to be a plan that was stretching on for years! After some time, my mom decided to take me to a new orthodontist. He took off my braces and started all over again with new ones. It was sort of mortifying in my teenager mind. Finally, as I neared high school graduation, it was time to take off my braces. I had literally watched hundreds of kids show up at school through the years with their braces recently removed, sporting a beautiful straight smile. I had seen all of the beautiful pictures in the orthodontist's office. I was completely excited. I felt like I hadn't had a good smile since the second grade! I can so clearly remember the day I got my braces off. I nervously stepped to the mirror and took my first look. And my heart sank. I didn't think it looked right at all. My teeth looked small and pinched, angling inward to make up for the extra space.
Most of the time our own imperfections are biggest in our own minds. Throughout all the years since I had my braces removed, I had to remind myself of that fact many times. In almost every picture I ever saw of myself, I would slightly wince at my smile, take a deep breath, and move forward. I noticed everyone else's beautiful straight teeth, felt a twinge of envy, and then decided to try not to worry about it. I dated. I got married. I had children. I didn't like my teeth.
When we moved to St. George and got established with a new dentist, he had me fill out a questionnaire concerning my dental history. One of the questions asked me to rate my teeth/smile according to how much I was pleased with them. I hesitated on that question. I let my pen hover over the numbers for a while before I finally, honestly, circled a less-than-perfect number. I can't remember what I finally chose. But it was enough to have the dentist bring it up during our first visit. I just laughed. "Oh, it's fine!" I told him. I explained a little bit about my missing teeth and my braces and how I hadn't loved the way it turned out, but that I knew it was just fine. "Nobody else would probably even notice!" I laughed. He did assure me that my teeth looked fine, and that nobody else would probably notice, but he offered me some thoughts about the beauty of veneers. However, when he told me the cost, I just shrugged it off, reminding myself that my teeth were fine!
Still, for the next three or four years, I thought about it. And he would bring it up every so often. I would always tell him it was insane to spend that kind of money when my teeth were fine. One day, he said to me very seriously, "Rindi, I think you are the perfect candidate for veneers. And I think they would make a huge difference to the way you feel about your smile. I want to make you some temporary teeth to try on, just so you can see what it would be like." Normally he charges for these temporary wax teeth, but he offered to do it for free for me. He felt so certain that it would make a big difference. I was still hesitant. So, he insisted.
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| My old teeth--they were just fine... |
It turned out to be MUCH more traumatic than I ever thought it would be. First, the dentist spent hours filing down my normal teeth to the size of baby teeth. And he had to cut back my gums in order to slip the new veneers up under the gums. Only after my teeth were filed down, could they make the mold and begin the process of crafting the veneers, which would take a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I couldn't exactly go around town with tiny teeth, so they make another wax set which they glue on for a week or two. I felt a little panicked. I asked the dentist if I could please have a mirror to see what he had done to my teeth. It was shocking, but seeing it was better than imagining it. My teeth were ultra sensitive, so I was glad when he finally glued on the wax set and sent me on my way.
Greg and I were right in the middle of training for the marathon. That appointment had taken place on a Friday. The next morning we planned to get up early and run sixteen miles. I had a really hard time sleeping that night, but around four in the morning, I clenched my teeth really hard together and knocked off my wax teeth. I shrieked and ran into the bathroom. There I was, with my little, baby teeth staring back at me. And they were so sensitive that I could hardly open my mouth. Even breathing through my mouth was too cold. I stood there holding my wax teeth in my hand, not knowing what to do. It was like a horror movie. I started to quietly whimper. Just then, Greg came in to the bathroom.
"What's the matter, honey?" he asked as he came to my side.
Keeping my lips mostly closed, I muttered, "My teeth fell off!" I must have looked really devastated. The look of pure, genuine concern on Greg's face really warmed my heart. He felt so bad for me! I eventually decided to try and slip the wax teeth back on, and I found that almost like a retainer, they could sort of stay in place. We decided just to get ready for our run, and by quarter to five, we were running along the dark streets together. I had to be careful with my teeth as we ran. I could still feel the sensitivity if I breathed too quickly through my mouth. And then we got laughing about the whole ordeal. We laughed and laughed as we ran. It turned out to be a glorious morning, a fantastic run, and a memory I hope to never forget. I love running with Greg.
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| In the process, wearing a wax set of teeth...getting a new smile! |
It's now been a couple of years and I still love my smile. Whenever I see pictures of myself, I don't wince or cringe, and take a deep breath. I feel confident and happy. One time, when I took a bite of beef jerky, I broke off one of my veneers! It was horrible! I was so embarrassed to see myself missing a tooth! I wouldn't let any of my family even see. I called the dentist, and he immediately rushed in to reattach it for me. I think it was a Saturday. As I sat down in his chair, I covered my mouth and told him I was too embarrassed to open my mouth for him. He just laughed at me and got started. Veneers aren't supposed to fall off. EVER. So, my dentist felt really bad. I wasn't upset. I just vowed to be more careful with biting into things from now on. But I started to get really worried. What if that had happened while I was out of town? Or while HE was out of town? His assistant told me not to worry. I could've gone to the store and bought denture cream and reattached it temporarily. I don't know why, but learning that tip was a huge relief to me.
One other funny thing that happened was that I developed a lisp with my new teeth. I was so self-conscious as I said a prayer in sacrament meeting with my lovely lisp! The dentist told me it was normal and would go away soon as I got used to my new teeth. But it wasn't going away. Finally, after some time, I talked to my dentist about it. He reluctantly told me that some people never get used to their new teeth, and although it's rare, they keep their lisp. I was horrified! Then I remembered how people said after Joseph Smith chipped his front tooth, he had a lisp the rest of his life. Oh my goodness! What had I done?
One day, I just started noticing that I wasn't sounding so strange, and before I knew it, I was back to talking normally. I still struggle a little bit with air bubbles getting up under my top lip and interfering with my speech (strange, I know!), but other than that I'm back to my regular talkative self.
Most people say they can't even remember what my teeth looked like before. Most people probably don't even notice the difference. But I'm so glad I got to get my teeth fixed. I would have gladly gone the rest of my life with my normal teeth and continued to try and ignore my flaws. That's life. But I'm glad that there was a way to easily fix it, and that Greg was so supportive. Now, I'm all smiles. All the time!
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| Check out that new, gorgeous smile! I love it! |
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
February 22, 2017
Greg called in sick today, which is no easy task when you are the doctor. I wanted to call in sick, too. But moms don't get to call in sick. Once I got everyone out the door for school, which was no easy task when you have a fever, I sat back on the bed with Greg and Lance. At least Lance is a major couch potato! It would almost have been a fun, quiet day if Greg and I didn't both feel so lousy. We were able to watch "The Million Dollar Arm" (in the middle of the day!) while Lance climbed around on me. It was a great show. Greg and I have both had a cough and body aches all day. I'm sitting up with Lance now, typing as Greg sleeps next to me. It's just our luck, but Lance wouldn't fall asleep at nap time, but he did fall asleep in the car on the way to pick up the girls from volleyball. We took all the kids and picked up Chick-fil-A. We were just too sick to think about dinner.
There's this part in the movie, Ratatouille, where the screen freezes as he's about to get caught stealing good food from the restaurant in Paris. He says, "I think it's apparent I need to rethink my life." Sometimes when I try to figure out the sleeping rhythms and patterns of my family, especially when I have one or two trying to climb in my bed at night, this saying pops into my head: I think it's apparent I need to rethink my life! Greg said it best the other day when he said, "I HATE this transition period, when our kids are giving up their naps." It's hard. I know Lance still needs a nap, but some days he is going without one. And it's the in between, the falling asleep in the car, that is really hard to deal with. Because now I don't know how long it will take for him to go to sleep tonight, and I'm super tired. I guess I do need to rethink my life, but I'll just think about that tomorrow....
I just read over what I've typed, and I've made it sound so difficult for me as the mom. I need to point out that Greg had me rest on the bed while he and the kids helped clean up the house. Julia and Emma did dishes and the boys cleaned and vacuumed. Greg had everyone go shower and get ready for bed. And Greg helped me change our sheets and put a clean, fresh set on the bed. We may be sick, but we are in it together!
....
I've just tucked Lance into his bed. It's 11:00 p.m. I have a prayer in my heart that he will somehow stay quiet and go to sleep. Somedays, like yesterday, I accomplish SO much. Other days, like today, we are just lucky to make it through. And that's okay. I've just got to get feeling better by Friday. It's Austin's big 8-year-old birthday party that afternoon! And his actual birthday is on Sunday. He has been so excited about all of it. So, here's to hoping I get to go to sleep now. Heaven only knows I need it.
There's this part in the movie, Ratatouille, where the screen freezes as he's about to get caught stealing good food from the restaurant in Paris. He says, "I think it's apparent I need to rethink my life." Sometimes when I try to figure out the sleeping rhythms and patterns of my family, especially when I have one or two trying to climb in my bed at night, this saying pops into my head: I think it's apparent I need to rethink my life! Greg said it best the other day when he said, "I HATE this transition period, when our kids are giving up their naps." It's hard. I know Lance still needs a nap, but some days he is going without one. And it's the in between, the falling asleep in the car, that is really hard to deal with. Because now I don't know how long it will take for him to go to sleep tonight, and I'm super tired. I guess I do need to rethink my life, but I'll just think about that tomorrow....
I just read over what I've typed, and I've made it sound so difficult for me as the mom. I need to point out that Greg had me rest on the bed while he and the kids helped clean up the house. Julia and Emma did dishes and the boys cleaned and vacuumed. Greg had everyone go shower and get ready for bed. And Greg helped me change our sheets and put a clean, fresh set on the bed. We may be sick, but we are in it together!
....
I've just tucked Lance into his bed. It's 11:00 p.m. I have a prayer in my heart that he will somehow stay quiet and go to sleep. Somedays, like yesterday, I accomplish SO much. Other days, like today, we are just lucky to make it through. And that's okay. I've just got to get feeling better by Friday. It's Austin's big 8-year-old birthday party that afternoon! And his actual birthday is on Sunday. He has been so excited about all of it. So, here's to hoping I get to go to sleep now. Heaven only knows I need it.
February 21, 2017
Tuesday. I'm on my A-game today. I got up at 5:40 a.m. to see Julia out the door for Temple Baptisms with her beehive group, and never stopped until I fell into bed at 11:00 p.m. with body aches, chills, and the beginnings of a fever.
I wanted to climb back into bed and fall asleep once Julia was gone, but I knew my day was ultra busy, and I really wanted to get a run in. So, I got dressed and joined my old pal, the treadmill, in the darkness and started running. I felt so powerful this morning. I ran a speedy (for me anyway!) three miles before even really starting my day. Due to the holiday yesterday, I had the cleaning ladies come today. We cleaned and cleaned for hours. Then it was laundry and lunch and a quick shower. I could never get Lance to fall asleep, so on we went with the afternoon schedule. I ended up driving to the high school three times in two hours. Julia had basketball practice and Emma had track. We had piano lessons, and then the girls had volleyball practice. I spent the whole afternoon driving and driving.
At about this time, Greg came home from work with a fever and chills. And Lance fell asleep in the car. Major bummer. I put him on the bed next to Greg, made Greg some soup and toast, and headed back out the door to pick up the girls. I was feeling so bad for the girls. They had both been exercising for hours! And I knew they would be exhausted and starving. Which they were. I swung by Wendy's and got them both a chicken sandwich and a frosty. They were super grateful. And even though they were really tired, we headed straight to Young Women's.
When I got home, Greg was super sick and asleep. So, I just kept right on going. We did homework and showers and more laundry and bedtime stories. I have been loving helping Owen read at night. He is getting so good! I have also been reading a book to the little boys, "Because of Winn-Dixie." It is a really cute story. I read them a couple of chapters and then kissed them good night.
It was only at this point that I got around to asking Miles about his Scout activity. I was so surprised to hear that they had gone out to the Arizona strip in the BACK of our neighbor's truck and shot guns into the desert. My mommy senses were tingling. I felt all sorts of alarm while hearing about this. I'm sure this type of activity breaks all sorts of rules. But I'm super proud of myself that I stayed very calm and enjoyed listening to Miles tell me all about it. He had a great time, of course. So, as Scarlett says, "I'll just think about this tomorrow."
For now, I'm sick. And super cold. Good night.
I wanted to climb back into bed and fall asleep once Julia was gone, but I knew my day was ultra busy, and I really wanted to get a run in. So, I got dressed and joined my old pal, the treadmill, in the darkness and started running. I felt so powerful this morning. I ran a speedy (for me anyway!) three miles before even really starting my day. Due to the holiday yesterday, I had the cleaning ladies come today. We cleaned and cleaned for hours. Then it was laundry and lunch and a quick shower. I could never get Lance to fall asleep, so on we went with the afternoon schedule. I ended up driving to the high school three times in two hours. Julia had basketball practice and Emma had track. We had piano lessons, and then the girls had volleyball practice. I spent the whole afternoon driving and driving.
At about this time, Greg came home from work with a fever and chills. And Lance fell asleep in the car. Major bummer. I put him on the bed next to Greg, made Greg some soup and toast, and headed back out the door to pick up the girls. I was feeling so bad for the girls. They had both been exercising for hours! And I knew they would be exhausted and starving. Which they were. I swung by Wendy's and got them both a chicken sandwich and a frosty. They were super grateful. And even though they were really tired, we headed straight to Young Women's.
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| 6 P.M. -- Lance is sound asleep. :( |
When I got home, Greg was super sick and asleep. So, I just kept right on going. We did homework and showers and more laundry and bedtime stories. I have been loving helping Owen read at night. He is getting so good! I have also been reading a book to the little boys, "Because of Winn-Dixie." It is a really cute story. I read them a couple of chapters and then kissed them good night.
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| I had a brief moment to look out my front door and see this gorgeous sunset. I called all the kids over to see it. What a beautiful world we live in! |
For now, I'm sick. And super cold. Good night.
Monday, February 20, 2017
February 20, 2017
Today is President's Day. Greg surprised us all by taking the day off. And then he proceeded to get up at 5:30 in the morning to go play basketball with some friends. He's been doing that for the past week, but his calf muscle has been a little strained, so who knows if he will be able to keep going. Still, that's not easy to get up early on his day off. I was still in bed when he got home.
He told me he only had a few goals for the day. First, he wanted to finish all of the laundry with me. Second, he wanted to do a bunch of his ironing. Third, he wanted to do something really fun with the kids.
Well, I got the kids cleaning up a bit while Greg folded clothes. Then we all put our clean clothes away. And to show my appreciation, I started in on the ironing pile. I made it about three-fourths of the way through before we decided we'd better get going if we were going to go on a hike.
It turned out to be a beautiful hiking adventure. The day has been super overcast and chilly. But the rain stayed away today, even though it had rained throughout the night. We packed up and headed to the Red Cliffs Preserve, just outside of Leeds. We hiked up this neat little canyon to a little waterfall. The kids were having the greatest time. There were so many rocks and boulders and trails to explore as we went along. Lance was so cute. He kept saying, "OK!" and then running along after the kids. He wanted to climb everything and be right in the mix. Emma took him up some little slots in between the boulders. Once back down on the trail, he'd say, "This way!" Miles was pretty much off the beaten path the whole day. We'd be hiking along the trail while Miles was traversing walls and boulders above us. Sometimes we'd hear him crashing down through the scrub oak, and one time I had to catch him as he slid off of a slick wall, but he was having the greatest time. We criss-crossed over the little stream, stepping on stones and occasionally getting a little wet. The boys threw rocks in the river, and I couldn't help but think of Mom. She is the ultimate "throw-rocks-in-the-river" kind of grandma. Greg hefted along his professional camera and captured some really great shots.
I loved the laughter. I loved the adventure. I loved seeing my kids running and jumping and exploring. When we saw all of the campsites tucked up against the red cliff walls, we all vowed to come back and stay a little longer next time. It was just one of those ideal childhood days. And I loved it.
We spent the evening relaxing at home. The kids and I watched "MacFarland," which is a great movie about a cross country team from a really poor town, while Greg was rested on the bed, having overdone it with basketball and hiking all day. He started to feel really chilled and sick. We've tried everything to get him to feel better. We've given him lots to drink in case he is dehydrated. I filled up the bathtub for him, gave him some medicine, and fed him. He is sound asleep next to me, but he keeps stirring and acting really uncomfortable. I hope he's okay tonight. Poor guy!
Someday I'll look back on these pictures, and I'll wonder where the time has gone. I'll remember holding Lance's little hand as we walked and I'll marvel that he's all grown up. I'll remember the boyish way that Miles and Austin climbed and explored, and the childish exclamations from Owen as he heaved a huge rock into the stream and made a big, ol' splash. I'll look at Emma and Julia and smile at my young teenagers, and I'll miss how helpful they are with their little brothers. I'll just miss it. I know it. I can't stop these times from passing. It's like I can stare at these pictures and already feel the nostalgia. I am at a moment in time, and it's a small moment. God has given me this moment, and I intend to live it with an incredibly grateful heart. I'm so grateful tonight for muddy little shoes, for extra clothes to wash, and for a fun batch of pictures to go through. I'm so grateful for these little people who are growing up too quickly. And I'm grateful for this wondrous world we live in. It truly is a wonderful life.
He told me he only had a few goals for the day. First, he wanted to finish all of the laundry with me. Second, he wanted to do a bunch of his ironing. Third, he wanted to do something really fun with the kids.
Well, I got the kids cleaning up a bit while Greg folded clothes. Then we all put our clean clothes away. And to show my appreciation, I started in on the ironing pile. I made it about three-fourths of the way through before we decided we'd better get going if we were going to go on a hike.
It turned out to be a beautiful hiking adventure. The day has been super overcast and chilly. But the rain stayed away today, even though it had rained throughout the night. We packed up and headed to the Red Cliffs Preserve, just outside of Leeds. We hiked up this neat little canyon to a little waterfall. The kids were having the greatest time. There were so many rocks and boulders and trails to explore as we went along. Lance was so cute. He kept saying, "OK!" and then running along after the kids. He wanted to climb everything and be right in the mix. Emma took him up some little slots in between the boulders. Once back down on the trail, he'd say, "This way!" Miles was pretty much off the beaten path the whole day. We'd be hiking along the trail while Miles was traversing walls and boulders above us. Sometimes we'd hear him crashing down through the scrub oak, and one time I had to catch him as he slid off of a slick wall, but he was having the greatest time. We criss-crossed over the little stream, stepping on stones and occasionally getting a little wet. The boys threw rocks in the river, and I couldn't help but think of Mom. She is the ultimate "throw-rocks-in-the-river" kind of grandma. Greg hefted along his professional camera and captured some really great shots.
I loved the laughter. I loved the adventure. I loved seeing my kids running and jumping and exploring. When we saw all of the campsites tucked up against the red cliff walls, we all vowed to come back and stay a little longer next time. It was just one of those ideal childhood days. And I loved it.
We spent the evening relaxing at home. The kids and I watched "MacFarland," which is a great movie about a cross country team from a really poor town, while Greg was rested on the bed, having overdone it with basketball and hiking all day. He started to feel really chilled and sick. We've tried everything to get him to feel better. We've given him lots to drink in case he is dehydrated. I filled up the bathtub for him, gave him some medicine, and fed him. He is sound asleep next to me, but he keeps stirring and acting really uncomfortable. I hope he's okay tonight. Poor guy!
Someday I'll look back on these pictures, and I'll wonder where the time has gone. I'll remember holding Lance's little hand as we walked and I'll marvel that he's all grown up. I'll remember the boyish way that Miles and Austin climbed and explored, and the childish exclamations from Owen as he heaved a huge rock into the stream and made a big, ol' splash. I'll look at Emma and Julia and smile at my young teenagers, and I'll miss how helpful they are with their little brothers. I'll just miss it. I know it. I can't stop these times from passing. It's like I can stare at these pictures and already feel the nostalgia. I am at a moment in time, and it's a small moment. God has given me this moment, and I intend to live it with an incredibly grateful heart. I'm so grateful tonight for muddy little shoes, for extra clothes to wash, and for a fun batch of pictures to go through. I'm so grateful for these little people who are growing up too quickly. And I'm grateful for this wondrous world we live in. It truly is a wonderful life.
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| Hang in there, Miles! |
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| Lance is up there exploring with his brothers! |
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| Lance had such a fun day. |
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| Julia, Emma, Austin, and Miles |
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| The Cameraman |
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| I love being with my crew. |
February 19, 2017
A few words about Greg.
Last night Julia had ANOTHER basketball game. It was her fourth game of the day. I don't know how she had the energy to keep playing, but she did. It was at nine p.m. This time, Greg wasn't coaching. And since Stalee planned to go, Greg offered to stay home with the little boys so that I could go sit by Stalee. I was hoping to get Lance to sleep first, but he was still crying when I needed to leave. Greg nicely told me to go while he went in to try rocking Lance to sleep. I was sitting on the hard bleachers at Dixie High School, watching Julia's team finish their warm ups, when Greg came through the gym doors, smiling. He'd gotten Lance and Owen to sleep, and Miles said he'd stay up listening for the boys. I was really happy to see Greg. It had been a great day together.
While Stalee and I went on our long run, Greg happily held down the fort at home with all of the children. He even managed lunch time. When we got back, he had lots of fun ideas for the rest of the day. He took all of the girls to the grocery store to pick up a bunch of groceries. He made it so fun for the kids by buying treats and donuts. He came home and made guacamole, tacquitos, and two cheesecakes! He was so excited to invite everyone over to our house--the Westons and the Eardleys--and then he helped serve dinner. We all had such a great time together. Then Greg started a round of JackBox TV, which Stalee's girls loved! And then, to end the night, he let me go early to the game while he put the boys to sleep. He rushed to join us at the game, sat by my side, and then only gave a tiny eye roll when I told him all of the Weston girls were spending the night. Ha ha! He was the perfect host all. day. long. I'm so thankful for such a great guy.
Today, Greg was in charge of the teacher council meetings at church. I was able to sneak in and participate during the second hour. Greg did such a fantastic job leading the discussion. I looked up at my handsome husband and felt my heart swell with pride. I felt so grateful that he brings us to church every week. That he fulfills his church callings. That he stands on the sidelines coaching our kids. That he passes around bites of his leftover cheesecake before church. That he pulls me into the closet to kiss me passionately. That he rocks our little ones to sleep. That he buys donuts for the kids. That when my sister comes into town, he tries to make it a party. That when I climb into our big, soft bed at the end of every day, he's right there by my side. I'm so grateful for my Greg.
Last night Julia had ANOTHER basketball game. It was her fourth game of the day. I don't know how she had the energy to keep playing, but she did. It was at nine p.m. This time, Greg wasn't coaching. And since Stalee planned to go, Greg offered to stay home with the little boys so that I could go sit by Stalee. I was hoping to get Lance to sleep first, but he was still crying when I needed to leave. Greg nicely told me to go while he went in to try rocking Lance to sleep. I was sitting on the hard bleachers at Dixie High School, watching Julia's team finish their warm ups, when Greg came through the gym doors, smiling. He'd gotten Lance and Owen to sleep, and Miles said he'd stay up listening for the boys. I was really happy to see Greg. It had been a great day together.
While Stalee and I went on our long run, Greg happily held down the fort at home with all of the children. He even managed lunch time. When we got back, he had lots of fun ideas for the rest of the day. He took all of the girls to the grocery store to pick up a bunch of groceries. He made it so fun for the kids by buying treats and donuts. He came home and made guacamole, tacquitos, and two cheesecakes! He was so excited to invite everyone over to our house--the Westons and the Eardleys--and then he helped serve dinner. We all had such a great time together. Then Greg started a round of JackBox TV, which Stalee's girls loved! And then, to end the night, he let me go early to the game while he put the boys to sleep. He rushed to join us at the game, sat by my side, and then only gave a tiny eye roll when I told him all of the Weston girls were spending the night. Ha ha! He was the perfect host all. day. long. I'm so thankful for such a great guy.
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| "Of all the fish in the sea, I'm so glad you chose me." I love you, Greg! |
February 18, 2017
When I was a little girl, Stalee and I shared a bed. At first it was a single bed. That was the time in my family's life when we had five children in one bedroom, with two sets of bunk beds. I definitely have memories of this, but I can't specifically remember sleeping toe to toe with Stalee. But I do remember sleeping in a bigger bed together. I've always been a bit of a night owl, and Stalee is not. So pretty much every night, while Mom sat in the hall reading stories from The Friend magazine, Stalee would doze off. Then Mom would turn off the lights and head downstairs. The upstairs sleeping quarters would be dark and silent, and there I'd sit...wide awake. And a little scared. I don't remember when I first decided to do this, but I would reach over and find Stalee's warm, little hand. And I'd hold it. To this day, I can close my eyes and remember the feeling of her hand in mine.
I woke up feeling pretty good. Today was going to be a big test of my running abilities! I had told Stalee we should run six (or seven!) miles. Even the drizzling rain outside my window didn't scare me. If my stomach could hold out, we could do it.
But first.
Greg and Julia left early for Julia's three games in a row. And I took Austin to his last game. The Westons met me at Austin's game and we cheered and screamed as he scored his first five points of the whole season! What a way to end it! He'd shot a few free throws before but always air balled them. Today he made 3 for 4 free throws. It was really fun. Then we rushed to the Washington Community Center for Julia's last game. It was a nail biter! And Julia was so tired. But she played her heart out. The last few seconds of the game, Julia shut them down, stole the ball and went the length of the court to score a layup and win the game. We nearly cried; we were all so excited. Julia is on the seventh grade Desert Hills team, and they were playing the eighth grade Desert Hills team. It was super fun.
We headed home with all the kids so that they could play while Stalee and I ran. It was lightly raining, so we bundled up and got started. I immediately knew I was low on energy. I started blaming my stomach sickness and doubting myself. But Stalee kept running and talking, so I did too. We rounded Stone Cliff mountain and started a steady uphill. It was hard! We just kept at it. Pretty soon, it was pouring rain. We just laughed and kept running. By about five miles, Stalee and I were solving life's problems together. We were mixing sweat, rain, and tears together. Stalee kept saying, "This is really living!" We were dodging puddles and small rivers, muddy spots and slippery spots. It was awesome! At the six-mile mark, we were nearing my house. We both knew we could do it, so we kept right on running, past the house and on for another half mile. And then a half mile back, dripping wet, we completed seven miles! I hadn't gone that far since 2013.
It's like when we were little. It's like when I would reach over for Stalee's little hand. Together, we are better. Together, we can do it. I'm a runner. I'm back!
I woke up feeling pretty good. Today was going to be a big test of my running abilities! I had told Stalee we should run six (or seven!) miles. Even the drizzling rain outside my window didn't scare me. If my stomach could hold out, we could do it.
But first.
Greg and Julia left early for Julia's three games in a row. And I took Austin to his last game. The Westons met me at Austin's game and we cheered and screamed as he scored his first five points of the whole season! What a way to end it! He'd shot a few free throws before but always air balled them. Today he made 3 for 4 free throws. It was really fun. Then we rushed to the Washington Community Center for Julia's last game. It was a nail biter! And Julia was so tired. But she played her heart out. The last few seconds of the game, Julia shut them down, stole the ball and went the length of the court to score a layup and win the game. We nearly cried; we were all so excited. Julia is on the seventh grade Desert Hills team, and they were playing the eighth grade Desert Hills team. It was super fun.
 |
| Austin and his team! |
We headed home with all the kids so that they could play while Stalee and I ran. It was lightly raining, so we bundled up and got started. I immediately knew I was low on energy. I started blaming my stomach sickness and doubting myself. But Stalee kept running and talking, so I did too. We rounded Stone Cliff mountain and started a steady uphill. It was hard! We just kept at it. Pretty soon, it was pouring rain. We just laughed and kept running. By about five miles, Stalee and I were solving life's problems together. We were mixing sweat, rain, and tears together. Stalee kept saying, "This is really living!" We were dodging puddles and small rivers, muddy spots and slippery spots. It was awesome! At the six-mile mark, we were nearing my house. We both knew we could do it, so we kept right on running, past the house and on for another half mile. And then a half mile back, dripping wet, we completed seven miles! I hadn't gone that far since 2013.
 |
| Seven miles. Soaking wet. Living life. |
February 17, 2017
Greg and I met with a lawyer today. Our financial advisor urged us to get our "estate" in order. The beautiful, wood-paneled bookshelves lining the wall behind the reception desk caught my eye. They were filled with rows and rows of legal books. We were escorted into the firm's swanky board room. There we were introduced to an estate attorney. It was super educational! We asked lots of questions and left with a questionnaire to fill out so that he can help draft our will and family trust documents. I was fascinated with his stories about other clients and potential situations that can come up in estate planning. It was actually really fun.
We left the law firm and picked up pizzas for the kids. Then Greg and I met Stalee, Clint, Sunee, and Kyle at Pizza Factory for a triple date. We were all thrilled that the Westons were in town for the weekend! While the kids played at home, we sat around the table at the restaurant and laughed and talked our hearts out. It was great food and great company. Stalee and Clint came back to our house after dinner, and we were able to visit a while more.
While we were talking, my stomach started to rumble and hurt. Eventually I went back to my bathroom. I have had a few nightmarish stomach incidents over the last six months or so, and this turned out to be one of them. I get such intense stomach cramps that I start to pass out. So, I was back in my bathroom in a cold sweat, fighting for consciousness, while trying to stay on the toilet. Lovely, I know. At one point, I was able to send a quick text to Greg. He told the Westons good bye for me and sent them out the door. I tried to go lay on the carpet in the closet, but every time I stood up, I became so faint that I couldn't even see. All the blood had drained from my face, I was moaning in pain, and my stomach hurt so bad!
And then, just a short time later, the feeling subsided, and I was fine. I changed into my jammies and climbed into bed. We can't figure out what causes these intense, but short-lived, bursts of stomach pain for me. The last two times, I had eaten squash. It definitely seemed related to that. This time, I had ordered the Vego pizza. It didn't have squash, and I normally eat lots of veggies, so I'm not sure what did it. But it scares me because it is SO painful!
I was happy to climb into bed because tomorrow is a big day. Stalee and I are going to attempt a long run together. Our first one. I hope I feel okay.
We left the law firm and picked up pizzas for the kids. Then Greg and I met Stalee, Clint, Sunee, and Kyle at Pizza Factory for a triple date. We were all thrilled that the Westons were in town for the weekend! While the kids played at home, we sat around the table at the restaurant and laughed and talked our hearts out. It was great food and great company. Stalee and Clint came back to our house after dinner, and we were able to visit a while more.
While we were talking, my stomach started to rumble and hurt. Eventually I went back to my bathroom. I have had a few nightmarish stomach incidents over the last six months or so, and this turned out to be one of them. I get such intense stomach cramps that I start to pass out. So, I was back in my bathroom in a cold sweat, fighting for consciousness, while trying to stay on the toilet. Lovely, I know. At one point, I was able to send a quick text to Greg. He told the Westons good bye for me and sent them out the door. I tried to go lay on the carpet in the closet, but every time I stood up, I became so faint that I couldn't even see. All the blood had drained from my face, I was moaning in pain, and my stomach hurt so bad!
And then, just a short time later, the feeling subsided, and I was fine. I changed into my jammies and climbed into bed. We can't figure out what causes these intense, but short-lived, bursts of stomach pain for me. The last two times, I had eaten squash. It definitely seemed related to that. This time, I had ordered the Vego pizza. It didn't have squash, and I normally eat lots of veggies, so I'm not sure what did it. But it scares me because it is SO painful!
I was happy to climb into bed because tomorrow is a big day. Stalee and I are going to attempt a long run together. Our first one. I hope I feel okay.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
February 16, 2017
Today has been SUCH a busy day. Lance had an ENT appointment to check his ear tubes. It's been a year since they took my little crying baby out of my arms and into surgery. After about six months of constant sickness, he has had a really good year with his ear tubes. We saw Dr. Gardner, an ENT who specializes in facial plastics, and a close colleague of Greg's. Whenever Greg performs a massive skin cancer removal off of someone's face, one that was much larger than expected, he sends his patients to Dr. Gardner for repair. Greg and Dr. Gardner share a lot of work, and it was Dr. Gardner who fit Lance in last year for his surgery.
So, after checking Lance's ears, he asked me if there was anything else he could do for me. I said no, but just casually mentioned that I would be bringing Austin in to see him. Austin has now been on allergy medicine and his inhaler for about ten days. His nose has continued to run, and his breathing has actually gotten even more ragged. Now, I'm wondering about his tonsils and adenoids. Dr. Gardner started asking me about Austin and by the time I left, he had given me a sample of nose spray and a prescription for Austin. He had to hand write the prescription because Austin isn't even his patient! I thought that was really, really nice of him. I came right home and told Greg, if there is ever a time you can do a favor for Dr. Gardner, please be sure to do one for me.
Dinner was an interesting affair this evening. I made spaghetti, but I had to deliver to different members of my family at different places and times. There was never a moment when we were all home. Greg coached Julia in a basketball game. Emma had track. Greg took the boys to basketball practice. Emma had to hurry to dance. Julia had to be at another basketball practice. And I had to drive everyone around, with covered plates of spaghetti ready to be eaten. Lance and Owen were my car buddies for a couple of hours.
Emma started track and she is really enjoying it. She says she is in amazing shape compared to most of the rest of the team! The coach put them in groups of four and had them continually trade off running one lap around the track (400 meters) and then resting for three turns, and then taking another lap around. Emma was with her best friend, Lainee, and two other girls. After ONE trip around the track the other two girls were so tired, they quit! So, Emma and Lainee continued on with their team running every other lap. Each girl on the track team was supposed to run four laps by the end. Emma and Lainee each ran seven! And Emma said she was still blowing people away on the last lap. Go Emma!
Julia's trimester just ended this week. She wanted to complete the requirements for Honors Math since she completed it for the first trimester. It was a LOT of extended learning type requirements. Julia spent hours working on it this week. Sometimes I would help her, and it was really interesting to learn all about patterns and the Fibonacci spiral and other natural wonders. Julia finished the whole portfolio just in time. I am really proud of her. It was a lot of work.
Well, life just keeps on chugging along. Even with the busyness of it all, I love this life. I am so blessed. I'm so thankful to have people in my life who need rides to practices and who need plates of spaghetti. Every night in my prayers, I ask Heavenly Father to bless me with the strength to be a mother. I love it!
So, after checking Lance's ears, he asked me if there was anything else he could do for me. I said no, but just casually mentioned that I would be bringing Austin in to see him. Austin has now been on allergy medicine and his inhaler for about ten days. His nose has continued to run, and his breathing has actually gotten even more ragged. Now, I'm wondering about his tonsils and adenoids. Dr. Gardner started asking me about Austin and by the time I left, he had given me a sample of nose spray and a prescription for Austin. He had to hand write the prescription because Austin isn't even his patient! I thought that was really, really nice of him. I came right home and told Greg, if there is ever a time you can do a favor for Dr. Gardner, please be sure to do one for me.
Dinner was an interesting affair this evening. I made spaghetti, but I had to deliver to different members of my family at different places and times. There was never a moment when we were all home. Greg coached Julia in a basketball game. Emma had track. Greg took the boys to basketball practice. Emma had to hurry to dance. Julia had to be at another basketball practice. And I had to drive everyone around, with covered plates of spaghetti ready to be eaten. Lance and Owen were my car buddies for a couple of hours.
Emma started track and she is really enjoying it. She says she is in amazing shape compared to most of the rest of the team! The coach put them in groups of four and had them continually trade off running one lap around the track (400 meters) and then resting for three turns, and then taking another lap around. Emma was with her best friend, Lainee, and two other girls. After ONE trip around the track the other two girls were so tired, they quit! So, Emma and Lainee continued on with their team running every other lap. Each girl on the track team was supposed to run four laps by the end. Emma and Lainee each ran seven! And Emma said she was still blowing people away on the last lap. Go Emma!
Julia's trimester just ended this week. She wanted to complete the requirements for Honors Math since she completed it for the first trimester. It was a LOT of extended learning type requirements. Julia spent hours working on it this week. Sometimes I would help her, and it was really interesting to learn all about patterns and the Fibonacci spiral and other natural wonders. Julia finished the whole portfolio just in time. I am really proud of her. It was a lot of work.
Well, life just keeps on chugging along. Even with the busyness of it all, I love this life. I am so blessed. I'm so thankful to have people in my life who need rides to practices and who need plates of spaghetti. Every night in my prayers, I ask Heavenly Father to bless me with the strength to be a mother. I love it!
Thursday, February 16, 2017
February 15, 2017
Today I took the boys to Moms and Muffins at their school. I also drove Julia’s school carpool, went to Parent Teacher Conferences, and took five of the kids to the dentist. From the dentist, I drove the girls to Volleyball practice, ran back to the dentist to pick up the boys and pay, then hurried home to start dinner, and headed back to pick up the girls from Volleyball. Then it was back at home to finish my enchilada casserole (Mom’s recipe and I still love it!) and to get dinner on the table.
Earlier in the afternoon, Greg had texted me to let me know that we needed to work on our taxes this evening. And I had texted back saying, OK!
After dinner, I did dishes, and we worked on homework and piano practice. I helped Emma with a poem she was learning and sat by Austin as he read his school book. By now it was time to get the boys to bed. So, I began that arduous task of herding everyone upstairs. At some point, Greg made a sarcastic comment like, “Thanks for helping with the taxes.”
I know Greg was tired. He had worked hard all day in Mesquite. It’s a long commute and a long day on Wednesdays. He manages our money so well, and I’ve left a lot of that up to him. I’m sure it’s pretty stressful. Later, while Lance climbed around our bed, I sat down to discuss the Parent Teacher Conferences before starting on the taxes.
The Parent Teacher Conferences were so successful. Austin’s teacher said that he has been really good lately, and his grades are soaring. So, for now, I’ll just keep sending him with his little watch that is supposed to remind him every time he looks at it, “Mom wants me to be good!” And I’ll keep telling him every day to be quiet and obedient and a good student. Miles’s teacher could not say enough good about Miles. Miles is excelling in the fifth grade! She is such a great teacher and Miles has been so happy in her class. I left the school feeling very relieved and proud of my boys. So, I sat on the bed, wanting to share that with Greg. And that got us started talking about the kids in general. And then we moved on to parenting techniques and things we should or shouldn’t be doing.
Greg and I haven’t always been on the exact same page when it comes to parenting. He thinks I’m too soft. I think he’s too tough. I guess when you put us together, our kids are getting perfect parenting, right? Ha ha! Anyway, we got started talking about these same sticking points between us (and he was probably still frustrated that I had never had time for the taxes) and I started feeling a little upset. He likes the way he was raised; I like the way I was raised. We were raised differently. How can either of us ever be right?!?!? We eventually stopped talking about it, and I went to put Lance to bed. When I came back, Greg was quietly snoring away on his side of the bed. I climbed into my side of the bed and started to think. I let some irrational thoughts creep into my mind. What if Greg thinks I’m doing it all wrong? What if I AM doing it all wrong? But this is pretty much ALL I’m doing with my life! And then I started thinking of all the things I probably am doing wrong. Sneaky little tears popped out from under my eyelids and ran down my cheeks. Emotions are an interesting thing. They usually express themselves in the most unexpected ways! Sometimes you just need to let some feelings flow. So, I let those tears fall. And I wallowed just a touch in my self pity.
Greg just kept right on breathing deeply next to me, completely unaware of my feelings. I said my prayers and settled into my pile of pillows. It’s all going to be okay. So, I pulled out my kindle and read “Torn Trousers” for a while. Pretty soon my eyes were drooping.
You know, adulthood is far more intense than I ever thought it would be. I am always surprised at the range of ups and downs and emotionally charged experiences. It takes a lot of effort to keep everything, and every relationship, on track. Sometimes it takes a lot of deep breathing.
As I read back over this post, I’m tempted to erase it. I usually love to portray a very happy picture of my beautiful life, which it IS! But I’d never want anyone to think we were perfect. Yes, I choose to focus on the positive. And that’s a really great way to live life. But the truth is, in this house, we aren’t perfect. We get irritated and annoyed. We argue and debate. We get our feelings hurt and cry. And that’s all an important part of my adulthood, too.
My dad once pointed out that when people get older and sit down to write their life history, they tend to write extensively about their childhood and also their later years with retirement and travel, but they merely brush through their middle-age adulthood. These can be the years of real struggle, when life is busy and stressful and your metabolism slows down enough to make you start to feel old! Maybe it’s okay that people choose not to focus on these years, but as my dad pointed out, it leaves the rest of us unsure of ourselves as we navigate these same years. Greg and I struggle to find time to nurture our marriage. We struggle to meet the emotional needs of all six of our children. We struggle to stay in shape and eat healthy. We struggle to teach those things to our children. We struggle with an enormously busy church life. We struggle with keeping on top of the household tasks, like grocery shopping, home maintenance, and money maintenance. We struggle with our budget. We struggle with our spiritual things, like couple prayer, family prayer, and family scripture study. We struggle to be patient. We struggle with bedtime. We struggle with getting enough sleep. We struggle! It can be really hard! But the point is, we DO struggle with it…we never quit. We drag ourselves out of bed every day and keep trying, keep going, keep learning. And we mix in many moments of love and joy and happiness. So days where a few frustrated tears fall out are okay. It’s my life. It’s a whole messy existence mixed up into one. This is my life. And my name is Rindi. And I wouldn’t change it for the world!
P.S. I never helped Greg with the taxes. Whoops!
P.P.S The kids are cavity free! Wahoo!
P.S. I never helped Greg with the taxes. Whoops!
P.P.S The kids are cavity free! Wahoo!
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
February 14, 2017
Today is Valentine's Day. I had managed to help the boys get their Valentines ready yesterday while I was making dinner. Thankfully, Austin didn't need a box, they were making one at school. And Miles, bless his heart, was happy to take an old SONOS speaker box that was black with some cool red designs on it, had a handle on it, and a small white space on the front, on which he wrote his name and "Put Candy Here" (with an arrow). When I showed it to him at first, he said, "Umm. Okay, I'll take it." It was so simple. And classic Miles. I love it!
After the kids were all out the door, I got on that lovely treadmill. I was feeling a little blue because I had found out another thing Austin had done to get in trouble at school. He had purposely filled in random answers on his math worksheet just so he could be the first one done in his class. He wanted to get to the fun STEM boxes that his teacher has for the kids to work on. STEM boxes are full of items for the kids to use to solve engineering problems, like building a bridge strong enough to hold four little men. Austin LOVES working on the STEM boxes. Austin and I had to have a little talk about his worksheet before school. His teacher had been so upset with him, that she banned him from playing with the STEM boxes after math. He was so sad. Well, after some talking and loving and promising to do better, I sent Austin out the door. He jumped on his bike and started to ride off. Miles was still getting on his bike, and he said to me, "I know Austin has come up with some pretty crazy ideas, but I never thought he'd stoop to this level." At least that made me smile. Miles would never dream of filling in the wrong answers. Ha ha.
Well, I was feeling worried about Austin when I stepped onto the treadmill. I started wondering if I'm just losing the battle with everything. All at once, I thought of how much my kids resist cleaning and helping, and how much they want to just sit and play the dumb xbox. And I started thinking about what a couch potato Lance is, and how many times the little boys don't want to eat anything healthy. And how many snacks they eat. And....and...and.. I was feeling like I've lost control as a mother.
I started to run. I decided to set my pace and hold it steady for four miles. No sprinting to get it done faster! After a half mile, I was so bored, and tempted to start sprinting. Desperate for a distraction, I started watching little photo slide shows on my phone. The photo app puts these little random slideshows together with music. I started seeing pictures of me making cupcakes with the kids, or taking them to the park, random photos of bath time, or me and the kids on Halloween. I saw pictures of scouts and school projects and sports games and Christmas time. I saw pictures of bike rides and trips to the Zoo, pictures of me splashing at the beach with my kids, and Greg coaching the kids in sports. We were smiling on vacations and in the car and in the pool. There were pictures with cousins and grandparents, at weddings and in the backyard. Pictures of us at the lake, and smiling on hikes and bike rides. It even mixed in videos, little snippets with the cutest little voices laughing and talking, singing Happy Birthday, or Lance saying his ABCs. The music was beautiful, and I started feeling tears mixing in with the sweat. It was like stepping back and looking at my life in a different way. I saw myself constantly holding someone's hand, or giving a hug, or smiling into a cute little face. I saw myself kissing Greg, or laughing with my family. It was such a special tender mercy. I hadn't expected to see myself this way when I turned on the slide shows to pass the time. All I could think, as I ran and ran, is what an absolutely beautiful life I have. And what an absolutely good job I'm doing as a mother. I feel like Heavenly Father sent that message straight to me. My heart was so completely full.
When I looked down, I'd gone three and half miles, without a break. So I sprinted the last half mile, and stepped off. Exhausted physically, refreshed emotionally.
I showered and ran to Lin's to pick up some things for Valentine's Day. I bought Greg and the kids some treats and balloons, and then decorated the table for a candlelit dinner. We had big turkey sandwiches on sourdough bread with a fun assortment of chips and pink punch. That was my Valentine's gift to me--no cooking. The kids loved the sandwich spread! Especially Austin. He was in heaven! I put a little Valentine treat on each of their plates for dessert. It was really fun.
Almost before we were done, I had to rush out the door. I was in charge of the Young Women's activity and we were doing something SO crazy. We were babysitting at the church for any couple who wanted to go out for Valentine's day. My lovely Miamaids had worked so hard making cookies and games and photo booths to entertain the kids. We had over fifty kids running wild for two hours in the church gym. It took all the effort of the Young Women and the leaders to keep everyone alive, but the kids had such a blast. And I think the parents were so grateful. And we won't be repeating that service ever again. Ha ha! Owen came to the church with me and he was so cute, doing the Hokey Pokey and playing Bingo. It was really fun.
I literally stumbled in the house completely frazzled. The first thing I noticed is that the kitchen was sparkling clean. And the house was silent. Greg came out from the back wearing scrubs and a big smile. He shooed the girls upstairs while I went to put Owen to bed. And then I came down. He had a big sign hanging in our hallway that said, "Mom and Dad only beyond this point!" It was awesome. He had spread rose petals around the room and bathtub, turned on all of our electric candles, and had a big bubble bath waiting for me. I let the stress just melt off of me in the tub. And then I just felt grateful for my romantic husband. He stayed home alone on Valentine's Day, so that I could go tend the whole world (it felt like), and he had loved me even while I was gone by cleaning the house and putting the kids to bed and thinking of me. We enjoyed a romantic evening together in our beautiful candlelit bedroom.
Today was filled with school and running and piano lessons and track practice and basketball practice and dinner and Young Women's, but I'm mostly thankful that my life is filled with Greg and Emma and Julia and Miles and Austin and Owen and Lance. They are all my favorite Valentines ever.
After the kids were all out the door, I got on that lovely treadmill. I was feeling a little blue because I had found out another thing Austin had done to get in trouble at school. He had purposely filled in random answers on his math worksheet just so he could be the first one done in his class. He wanted to get to the fun STEM boxes that his teacher has for the kids to work on. STEM boxes are full of items for the kids to use to solve engineering problems, like building a bridge strong enough to hold four little men. Austin LOVES working on the STEM boxes. Austin and I had to have a little talk about his worksheet before school. His teacher had been so upset with him, that she banned him from playing with the STEM boxes after math. He was so sad. Well, after some talking and loving and promising to do better, I sent Austin out the door. He jumped on his bike and started to ride off. Miles was still getting on his bike, and he said to me, "I know Austin has come up with some pretty crazy ideas, but I never thought he'd stoop to this level." At least that made me smile. Miles would never dream of filling in the wrong answers. Ha ha.
Well, I was feeling worried about Austin when I stepped onto the treadmill. I started wondering if I'm just losing the battle with everything. All at once, I thought of how much my kids resist cleaning and helping, and how much they want to just sit and play the dumb xbox. And I started thinking about what a couch potato Lance is, and how many times the little boys don't want to eat anything healthy. And how many snacks they eat. And....and...and.. I was feeling like I've lost control as a mother.
I started to run. I decided to set my pace and hold it steady for four miles. No sprinting to get it done faster! After a half mile, I was so bored, and tempted to start sprinting. Desperate for a distraction, I started watching little photo slide shows on my phone. The photo app puts these little random slideshows together with music. I started seeing pictures of me making cupcakes with the kids, or taking them to the park, random photos of bath time, or me and the kids on Halloween. I saw pictures of scouts and school projects and sports games and Christmas time. I saw pictures of bike rides and trips to the Zoo, pictures of me splashing at the beach with my kids, and Greg coaching the kids in sports. We were smiling on vacations and in the car and in the pool. There were pictures with cousins and grandparents, at weddings and in the backyard. Pictures of us at the lake, and smiling on hikes and bike rides. It even mixed in videos, little snippets with the cutest little voices laughing and talking, singing Happy Birthday, or Lance saying his ABCs. The music was beautiful, and I started feeling tears mixing in with the sweat. It was like stepping back and looking at my life in a different way. I saw myself constantly holding someone's hand, or giving a hug, or smiling into a cute little face. I saw myself kissing Greg, or laughing with my family. It was such a special tender mercy. I hadn't expected to see myself this way when I turned on the slide shows to pass the time. All I could think, as I ran and ran, is what an absolutely beautiful life I have. And what an absolutely good job I'm doing as a mother. I feel like Heavenly Father sent that message straight to me. My heart was so completely full.
When I looked down, I'd gone three and half miles, without a break. So I sprinted the last half mile, and stepped off. Exhausted physically, refreshed emotionally.
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| Owen and his candy stash! |
Almost before we were done, I had to rush out the door. I was in charge of the Young Women's activity and we were doing something SO crazy. We were babysitting at the church for any couple who wanted to go out for Valentine's day. My lovely Miamaids had worked so hard making cookies and games and photo booths to entertain the kids. We had over fifty kids running wild for two hours in the church gym. It took all the effort of the Young Women and the leaders to keep everyone alive, but the kids had such a blast. And I think the parents were so grateful. And we won't be repeating that service ever again. Ha ha! Owen came to the church with me and he was so cute, doing the Hokey Pokey and playing Bingo. It was really fun.
 |
| Valentine's Day Dinner --waiting for Greg and Julia to make it home from basketball! |
Today was filled with school and running and piano lessons and track practice and basketball practice and dinner and Young Women's, but I'm mostly thankful that my life is filled with Greg and Emma and Julia and Miles and Austin and Owen and Lance. They are all my favorite Valentines ever.
February 13, 2017
Monday. One of the very first things I wanted the minute we had extra money lying around was help with the house cleaning. Every Monday morning, two Mexican angels knock on my door, ready to whip in and work miracles. When they first started coming years ago, I wanted to cry every week. I felt that I could NOT thank them enough. Greg reminded me that we ARE paying them, but it just didn't seem sufficient for how grateful I was at the time. As the years have passed, different women have come and gone, but they've always been so nice and such great cleaners. And it never gets old. I am always SO thankful when they are done. I work really hard for about an hour before they come, and then together we work for three hours (nine cleaning hours). Part of me feels SO spoiled that I get to have cleaners. And I'm a little embarrassed to talk about it because it feels so luxurious, and I know that not everybody gets such a luxury. But another part of me feels like, well, there are other things I could spend my money on, like nails and eyelashes and clothes and shoes, and I'm choosing cleaning. What's wrong with that? Ha! But then I think of how incredibly lucky I am, and I just feel overwhelming gratitude. Mondays have become one of my very favorite days. I seriously have LOVE in my heart for my Monday helpers. And I wish we spoke the same language so I could express that better. I hope they know how grateful I am.
This whole week the elementary kids get out early for Parent Teacher Conferences. I started the boys back on the bike-riding-to-school schedule. It's warmed up a bit (although they think it is freezing in the morning, and it probably feels like it on a bike!), and the afternoon is super warm. It was fun to see them burst through the garage door after school, sweaty and breathless. Miles's friend Stu came over after school. He's the only child still at home and his mom works, so he comes a lot on early-out days. He and Miles have so much fun together. He's a great friend. Our house must seem like a zoo to him, but I think he likes it. Austin had Will over too. And then Lexie and Beau came over to play with Owen. After school, we always have kids running in and out, food flying around, sports equipment being pulled out of the garage, toys getting played with, and voices filling the house. Some days I just have to say no to friends; I need a minute of peace. But this day it was like, bring it on! The friends stayed all the way until 5:00.
I made grilled chicken salads with raspberry/poppyseed dressing for dinner. And then we had Mom and Dad over for Family Home Evening. We played JackBox again. Let me explain. JackBox is a game that we run through the computer up onto the TV. Everyone hooks into the game with their own kindle or phone or tablet. Then you play these funny games like Drawful or Fibbage. They are all about people writing in funny things and then everyone trying to guess which is the true correct answer. You get points for guessing right and points if people guess your "fib". It is SO funny. And even Owen can play and make guesses. We had a great time with Mom and Dad. I loved how Dad's screen name was WolfMan, and how Mom would scream out with delight when she got it right. The kids had been SO excited all day for Grandma and Grandpa to come play. And it ended up just as fun as we thought.
I might not have gotten around to showering, but I had a VERY full Monday. And we went to bed with a clean house. My favorite!
This whole week the elementary kids get out early for Parent Teacher Conferences. I started the boys back on the bike-riding-to-school schedule. It's warmed up a bit (although they think it is freezing in the morning, and it probably feels like it on a bike!), and the afternoon is super warm. It was fun to see them burst through the garage door after school, sweaty and breathless. Miles's friend Stu came over after school. He's the only child still at home and his mom works, so he comes a lot on early-out days. He and Miles have so much fun together. He's a great friend. Our house must seem like a zoo to him, but I think he likes it. Austin had Will over too. And then Lexie and Beau came over to play with Owen. After school, we always have kids running in and out, food flying around, sports equipment being pulled out of the garage, toys getting played with, and voices filling the house. Some days I just have to say no to friends; I need a minute of peace. But this day it was like, bring it on! The friends stayed all the way until 5:00.
I made grilled chicken salads with raspberry/poppyseed dressing for dinner. And then we had Mom and Dad over for Family Home Evening. We played JackBox again. Let me explain. JackBox is a game that we run through the computer up onto the TV. Everyone hooks into the game with their own kindle or phone or tablet. Then you play these funny games like Drawful or Fibbage. They are all about people writing in funny things and then everyone trying to guess which is the true correct answer. You get points for guessing right and points if people guess your "fib". It is SO funny. And even Owen can play and make guesses. We had a great time with Mom and Dad. I loved how Dad's screen name was WolfMan, and how Mom would scream out with delight when she got it right. The kids had been SO excited all day for Grandma and Grandpa to come play. And it ended up just as fun as we thought.
I might not have gotten around to showering, but I had a VERY full Monday. And we went to bed with a clean house. My favorite!
February 12, 2017
Today was our ward conference. And another Sunday. We met with a member of the Primary Presidency, Sherine Smith, before church to talk about Austin's upcoming baptism. She had a cute questionnaire to fill out about Austin. When she asked him what his favorite meal was, he said, "Turkey Sandwiches!" That boy LOVES turkey sandwiches like nothing else. And when she asked him to name something he is good at, he said, "Eating." Ha ha. It was funny. I put all the boys in their new suits today. They all looked so handsome. Austin's is a size 12, even though he is seven years old! He's taller than a few deacons in our ward. He's very excited to be baptized. I love him so much. He has brought so much joy and happiness into to our home.
I gave Lance a little nap before church, and then I woke him up when it was time to go. He was a nightmare during Sacrament Meeting. He was so cranky and he just kept saying, "NOPE!" to every trick I tried to pull out of the church bag. I tried to take him into the hall, but he just cried and cried to leave. And he wouldn't let me put him down. I hate to walk around and hold him because it hurts my back. I tried to keep him quiet for awhile, but finally, just as the stake president was about to speak, I gave up and went home with him. I decided I would call Mom and see if she could come over. She was busy getting ready for the Eardley's to come to dinner but she gave me some good encouragement. I fed Lance and let him relax for a minute and then packed some candy and toys and headed back to the church. Greg and I got to sit together in the chapel for the combined Priesthood and Relief Society meeting. We just kept Lance with us, eating candy and playing Greg's iPad. This is Lance's worst time of day! This is a really hard time to have church. I've decided that I can't just wake him and take him straight to church. He needs time to wake up a bit before we leave. Somehow, some way, we will get through this year of 2:30 church. Ugh!
The stake president talked about something that has been on my mind a lot lately. He talked all about the Abrahamic Covenant and the building of Zion. He really emphasized that we can be working toward Zion, and have the safety and peace of being in a Stake of Zion, while the whole world is getting increasingly wicked. I was surprised that he was talking about this because I had just written about this earlier this week! Anyway, it was a great lesson.
We made it home at about 5:45, and a little after six I had a chicken dinner on the table, with mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, jell-o, and rolls. We all ate until we were full, and then everyone helped with the cleanup. We played a little bit of a game called JackBox before bed. It was really fun and full of laughs. Even though Sundays are proving to be a little difficult, I am so grateful to have a day where we can all be together. I love my little family.
I also want to record a couple of funny things Owen has said lately. He is hard to keep up with, but he can be so funny! The other day he and I were going to go outside to practice riding his bike. I hadn't really gotten dressed for the day, so I grabbed a bra to put on. Owen said, "Why do you need one of those?" And then before I could answer, he said while gesturing at his chest, hands bouncing up and down, "Oh, I know. Is it so your "bing bongs" don't bounce like this?" My bing bongs?? I about fell over laughing. And he started laughing too. It was super funny. I don't know how he came up with that one!
This morning as I got him ready for church, he looked so handsome in his new suit. He was smiling as I fixed his hair, looking very pleased with himself. So I said, "Owen, how does it feel to look just like your daddy? You are so handsome like him!" Owen smiled. And then to keep it going, I said, "And you are so nice like him!" (I'm always trying to encourage good traits!) And then Owen smiled into the mirror, "And sometimes I'm mean like him!" Ha ha ha!! I laughed and laughed. Well, at least Owen has a realistic sense of himself. And occasionally Owen meets Greg head on. It's a battle that has yet to be completed. Ha ha!
And last, but not least. The other day, Owen came streaking through the kitchen and into the family room wearing only his undies. He shouted loudly, "Nobody look at my nuts!" I lost it in the kitchen. I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't want to encourage his antics, but I just couldn't help it. It was just too funny. But he needs a little more education, because the other day when he was mad at me, he said, "Well, I'm gonna punch you in the nuts!" So I said, "Go ahead! I don't have any nuts!" (He was a little stunned by that.) But thinking back now, I wish I would have said, "I only have bing bongs!"
I gave Lance a little nap before church, and then I woke him up when it was time to go. He was a nightmare during Sacrament Meeting. He was so cranky and he just kept saying, "NOPE!" to every trick I tried to pull out of the church bag. I tried to take him into the hall, but he just cried and cried to leave. And he wouldn't let me put him down. I hate to walk around and hold him because it hurts my back. I tried to keep him quiet for awhile, but finally, just as the stake president was about to speak, I gave up and went home with him. I decided I would call Mom and see if she could come over. She was busy getting ready for the Eardley's to come to dinner but she gave me some good encouragement. I fed Lance and let him relax for a minute and then packed some candy and toys and headed back to the church. Greg and I got to sit together in the chapel for the combined Priesthood and Relief Society meeting. We just kept Lance with us, eating candy and playing Greg's iPad. This is Lance's worst time of day! This is a really hard time to have church. I've decided that I can't just wake him and take him straight to church. He needs time to wake up a bit before we leave. Somehow, some way, we will get through this year of 2:30 church. Ugh!
The stake president talked about something that has been on my mind a lot lately. He talked all about the Abrahamic Covenant and the building of Zion. He really emphasized that we can be working toward Zion, and have the safety and peace of being in a Stake of Zion, while the whole world is getting increasingly wicked. I was surprised that he was talking about this because I had just written about this earlier this week! Anyway, it was a great lesson.
We made it home at about 5:45, and a little after six I had a chicken dinner on the table, with mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, jell-o, and rolls. We all ate until we were full, and then everyone helped with the cleanup. We played a little bit of a game called JackBox before bed. It was really fun and full of laughs. Even though Sundays are proving to be a little difficult, I am so grateful to have a day where we can all be together. I love my little family.
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| Bath time for Owen! |
This morning as I got him ready for church, he looked so handsome in his new suit. He was smiling as I fixed his hair, looking very pleased with himself. So I said, "Owen, how does it feel to look just like your daddy? You are so handsome like him!" Owen smiled. And then to keep it going, I said, "And you are so nice like him!" (I'm always trying to encourage good traits!) And then Owen smiled into the mirror, "And sometimes I'm mean like him!" Ha ha ha!! I laughed and laughed. Well, at least Owen has a realistic sense of himself. And occasionally Owen meets Greg head on. It's a battle that has yet to be completed. Ha ha!
And last, but not least. The other day, Owen came streaking through the kitchen and into the family room wearing only his undies. He shouted loudly, "Nobody look at my nuts!" I lost it in the kitchen. I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't want to encourage his antics, but I just couldn't help it. It was just too funny. But he needs a little more education, because the other day when he was mad at me, he said, "Well, I'm gonna punch you in the nuts!" So I said, "Go ahead! I don't have any nuts!" (He was a little stunned by that.) But thinking back now, I wish I would have said, "I only have bing bongs!"
Saturday, February 11, 2017
February 11, 2017
This post has been on my mind for a few days. I hope I can write it the way I've been dreaming of it.
I absolutely love to read! I read an article from the Reader's Digest while I brush my teeth, I read a book while I eat my lunch, I read the articles people post on Facebook while I wait in the carpool line. And that's exactly what got me thinking about the topic of parenthood. See, lots of people post articles on how to raise children. And I usually read those articles. I'm constantly thinking and re-thinking about my current profession as a mother, so if someone has a great suggestion, I'm all over it. But sometimes I read something that just doesn't ring true to me. It's during those moments that I start to wonder about the qualifications one might need to write a parenting how-to article. Can anyone ever be a parenting expert? I mean, even if you have lots of children and you raise them to be successful adults, how can you say you are an expert? Maybe you were blessed with great children. I've seen parents who seem like excellent parents have children fail miserably. And I've read enough memoirs to know that some pretty successful people come from pretty horrific parents. So, the way I see it, unless you could raise a bunch of children to adulthood and then those same children could start over and be raised by another set of parents to adulthood, it is difficult to know just how great of a parent you really are.
But parenting matters. I know it does. As I've pondered this thought through the years, I've decided that maybe I'm the mother MY children need. Or better yet, maybe God knows the mother my children need, and if I pray and listen to Him, I'll become the mother they need. And it might be a very different type of mother than the neighbor next door. But that's okay. Just as there is not one type of child, there doesn't need to be one type of mother. I've gloried in that thought. All I need to do is be the mother my child needs--the mother my Father in Heaven wants me to be.
I love talking with other mothers. I'm constantly inspired by the great examples of those around me. So when I saw an article titled, "Stop doing these 8 things for your Teen this School Year," by Amy Carney (amycarney.com), I was intrigued. As I read, I became more and more distraught. This was written by a parenting "expert," but it didn't look much like the way I parent. You can read the whole article on her website. The author started the article by saying:
Don’t judge me if you happen to see my kids eating packaged Ritz crackers for school lunch.
Don’t judge me if they’re on the sidelines of PE because they forgot their uniform.
Don’t judge me if they didn’t turn in their homework because it’s still sitting home on their desk.
What some may view as a lack of parenting, is what I deem parenting on purpose, as we work to build necessary life skills in our kids.
I stopped making daily breakfasts and packing school lunches long ago.
I don’t feel obligated to deliver forgotten items left behind at home.
School projects and homework are not any part of my existence.
How do we raise competent adults if we’re always doing everything for our kids?
I absolutely love to read! I read an article from the Reader's Digest while I brush my teeth, I read a book while I eat my lunch, I read the articles people post on Facebook while I wait in the carpool line. And that's exactly what got me thinking about the topic of parenthood. See, lots of people post articles on how to raise children. And I usually read those articles. I'm constantly thinking and re-thinking about my current profession as a mother, so if someone has a great suggestion, I'm all over it. But sometimes I read something that just doesn't ring true to me. It's during those moments that I start to wonder about the qualifications one might need to write a parenting how-to article. Can anyone ever be a parenting expert? I mean, even if you have lots of children and you raise them to be successful adults, how can you say you are an expert? Maybe you were blessed with great children. I've seen parents who seem like excellent parents have children fail miserably. And I've read enough memoirs to know that some pretty successful people come from pretty horrific parents. So, the way I see it, unless you could raise a bunch of children to adulthood and then those same children could start over and be raised by another set of parents to adulthood, it is difficult to know just how great of a parent you really are.
But parenting matters. I know it does. As I've pondered this thought through the years, I've decided that maybe I'm the mother MY children need. Or better yet, maybe God knows the mother my children need, and if I pray and listen to Him, I'll become the mother they need. And it might be a very different type of mother than the neighbor next door. But that's okay. Just as there is not one type of child, there doesn't need to be one type of mother. I've gloried in that thought. All I need to do is be the mother my child needs--the mother my Father in Heaven wants me to be.
I love talking with other mothers. I'm constantly inspired by the great examples of those around me. So when I saw an article titled, "Stop doing these 8 things for your Teen this School Year," by Amy Carney (amycarney.com), I was intrigued. As I read, I became more and more distraught. This was written by a parenting "expert," but it didn't look much like the way I parent. You can read the whole article on her website. The author started the article by saying:
Don’t judge me if you happen to see my kids eating packaged Ritz crackers for school lunch.
Don’t judge me if they’re on the sidelines of PE because they forgot their uniform.
Don’t judge me if they didn’t turn in their homework because it’s still sitting home on their desk.
What some may view as a lack of parenting, is what I deem parenting on purpose, as we work to build necessary life skills in our kids.
I stopped making daily breakfasts and packing school lunches long ago.
I don’t feel obligated to deliver forgotten items left behind at home.
School projects and homework are not any part of my existence.
How do we raise competent adults if we’re always doing everything for our kids?
I completely applaud this woman for "parenting on purpose." It takes a lot of love and effort to be a good parent. But I also wondered if this article might cause some angst amongst those who have found a different way to parent. Here are the 8 things, since you are probably wondering:
1. Stop Waking Them Up In The Morning (My girls have an alarm clock, so we are good here!)
2. Stop Making Their Breakfast and Packing Their Lunch (Ouch!)
3. Stop Filling Out Their Paperwork (Umm.. okay?)
4. Stop Delivering Their Forgotten Items (Why?)
5. Stop Making Their Failure To Plan Your Emergency (We just adapt.)
6. Stop Doing All Of Their Laundry (Interesting...)
7. Stop Emailing Or Calling Their Teachers And Coaches (Yes!)
8. Stop Meddling In Their Academics (Meddling?)
And while I agree with most of these things, a few of them and the way she illustrated her points really felt rough. This might be exactly what HER children need in order to learn the lessons they need to learn. But that may not be true for everyone.
Sometimes my kids eat cereal for breakfast--sometimes for many days in a row, like when I'm pregnant and sick, or when I have a brand-new baby keeping me up all night. But sometimes I make waffles with strawberries, or cream of wheat with a big, ol' pile of buttered toast, or Greg makes his homemade oatmeal with brown sugar and a glass of milk. That's how I do "parenting on purpose." My kids are going to leave the house in the morning filled up and ready for their rigorous day. My mom made my breakfast nearly every day of my life, and I was so grateful, and in no way was I ill-prepared to survive life away from home once I moved out. I left the comfort of my childhood home filled up and ready to face my own rigorous LIFE.
My mom also did all my laundry. I used to come home from school and head straight to the laundry room. I would sit atop the counter and unload my day while she sorted and folded, handing me clothes while we talked. I learned a gazillion life lessons alongside my mother in the laundry room. In my home, I'm the main laundress. The kids are great to help, and in the summer we especially work together. But for the most part, I make sure their clothes and uniforms are washed and ready to go. When my kids come tumbling through the door late at night, sweaty from practice, with lots of homework still to do, I'm so happy to take that sweaty uniform and have it ready by the next day. To me, that's love. And sometimes, after school, my teenagers join me in the laundry room for a good chat, just like I did with my mom. When I moved out and got married, I started doing all of my own laundry. And my heart still swells with love for my mom who helped me when I was a busy teenager.
It's interesting because earlier this week, just a few days after I had read this article, Emma started digging through her backpack in a panic. She couldn't find the small, white square of material she'd been working on in her sewing class. It was to be a "stain" square and she needed to put the finishing touches on it before school the next day. I glanced over from the kitchen where I was working, noticing the messy state of her backpack, and her rising panic as papers started flying around the family room. This article flashed into my mind. I thought of all the talk about letting your children fail, and teaching them to keep themselves neat and organized, and not rushing to rescue them. I thought about commenting about how careless she was to shove a tiny white square of material into that disheveled backpack, but then her beautiful face crumpled. Her shoulders sagged as they started to shake. Big tears fell from her eyes onto her cheeks. I pushed the "8 Things to Stop Doing" from my mind and went to kneel next to her. Together we looked through every sheet of paper and every page of her notebooks. We shook out books and emptied out the pockets. Still no square of material. I put my arms around Emma and together we talked about the possible solutions to her predicament. Then together we pulled out my sewing machine and some old scraps of material, and I left her at the table, re-sewing her assignment and applying stains while I put the little boys to bed. Then we stood together at the laundry room sink as I taught my daughter how to treat different laundry stains. She was amazed! I loved that teaching moment. And she was so thankful that I was helping her.
The next day, Emma came home from school so happy to report that she got full credit on her stain-square assignment. She thanked me again, and as I watched her open her backpack, I noticed a perfectly organized, completely clean interior. I realized that Emma had learned more than one lesson, all on her own. Maybe for some kids, standing on the side without the proper P.E.clothes is good, but for others it would be detrimental to raising successful adults. And for Emma, well, I think she learned to keep a neater, more organized backpack (and I didn't need to say a thing), but she also learned that no problem is the end of the world. There are always ways to try to fix things. And I hope she learned that she's not alone. There are people who love her and are there for her. In my lifelong experience, that has always been my experience. There is always someone there for me, willing to help. So teaching my children that "sorry, you are on your own" is not something I'm doing. I believe we are never on our own. After all, we have a loving Father in Heaven who will always be there for us.
The other day, my car phone rang. It never rings. I usually forget I even have a car phone. But it was ringing. I answered it to hear my husband telling me that I had left my cell phone and one of the children at home! We laughed and laughed as I flipped around to go back. But Greg didn't leave me hanging because I forgot something. And how about when Greg called one day from work in a panic because he had forgotten the files he needed for his meeting with the accountant? I didn't leave him on his own to "learn a lesson." No, I drove to his office with the files. And he thanked me. When he forgets his lunch, I run it to him. And WHENEVER I'm in a panic about anything, Greg is right there for me. That's what my adulthood looks like. We are there for each other. That's what I'm trying to teach my children. On purpose.
I understand what this article is trying to do. And it's mostly great. My girls use an alarm clock, help pack their own lunch, and manage their grades completely on their own. I let them talk to their teachers and coaches all on their own, even if we have to role-play exactly what they will say. But when the author of the article talked about letting them navigate the real-life failures all on their own, she lost me. Teenagers have enough pressure in their lives. I want mine to know that I'm here. So if you work all evening on your homework assignment and then leave it on the kitchen counter, please call me. I'll do my best to bring it. And if you procrastinate your big project until the day before it's due, I'll give you a lecture, and then sit by your side to get it done. And if you have a big game, I'll make sure your jersey is clean. And I'll bring you a snack to the game too.
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| I love my little family...with my whole heart. |
One night, at bedtime, Julia remembered that she was supposed to run a timed mile by the next day. She had actually told me about this assignment multiple times, asking me to time her, but I had put her off because I was busy. Now here we were, ready for bed and she remembered. She actually decided that she would just fail the assignment. But I wanted her to learn something different. So I had her get dressed and come with me outside. It was still a dusky evening when I sent her off with my phone and headphones measuring her route. I stood waiting alone, barefoot, on the warm sidewalk. Only a few minutes later, I saw her come charging back around the corner, and I cheered as she finished her mile. "Julia," I said, as we walked back into the house, arm in arm, "it's never too late to do your best."
And she said, "Thanks for helping me, Mom."
Maybe I'm ruining my children by being there for them when they need me. And maybe not. But believe me, I'm doing this on purpose. And if this doesn't ring true for YOU, then maybe this isn't the type of parenting YOUR child needs. But what ALL parents need to do is pray to God for help with the children in OUR homes.
So, don't judge me if my child has a healthy breakfast and lunch every day. Don't judge me if my child is prepared for the game/P.E./or whatever activity it may be. Don't judge me if you see me getting a big hug from my teenager in the school parking lot as I hand over some forgotten item. When I see that my children need a different type of mothering, I'll be the first to make the change, but for now I'm parenting on purpose.
So, don't judge me if my child has a healthy breakfast and lunch every day. Don't judge me if my child is prepared for the game/P.E./or whatever activity it may be. Don't judge me if you see me getting a big hug from my teenager in the school parking lot as I hand over some forgotten item. When I see that my children need a different type of mothering, I'll be the first to make the change, but for now I'm parenting on purpose.
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