May 7, 2017

Today I felt a little bit at my wit's end.

Yesterday I woke up early and ran seven miles with my group!  I was so proud of myself for feeling so great by the end.  My quads were still sore from climbing the water slide steps, but I ran it and felt good.  The morning dawned beautifully, and I'm so thankful that I can run.

Seven fantastic miles!

Sleepover at Grandma's.  Julia had so much fun!

I came home and showered and took Austin with me to three different baptisms.  Two of his friends and one of my Primary kids (in my new class!).  We both felt the spirit and enjoyed the day.  I came home and fed everyone lunch and then put Lance to nap.

I took Julia with me to the grocery store.  Garr and Lill had brought me a flat of strawberries earlier in the week, and I needed to finish them off so I decided to make Grandma Fowler's strawberry shortcake.  We went to Lin's and loaded up.

Grandma Fowler's Strawberry Shortcake.  I still miss her and love her. (And it is yummy!!)

Back at home, Owen helped me bake the cakes while Julia helped me start the dinner.  Miles was over at his friend Stu's house.  We missed Emma, but we were so excited to hear how well she did and now we would just wait until she got home much later at night.

Making a casserole.  Dinner has been killing me lately! Ugh!

Baking and cooking seemed to lift my spirits a bit.  We ate a nice casserole for dinner and then I cleaned up while we waited for Garr and Lill to come.  When they arrived, I was proud to serve them my cake.  They seemed to love it.

By the time I got everyone to bed, I was so sleepy.  Emma finally called me at 1:30 a.m to pick her up from the school.  I rubbed my eyes and hurried there.  We were both so tired, we hardly talked.

I think I started today tired.  And this 2:30 church is getting under my skin more than I thought it would.  We fasted today, and I bore my testimony and taught primary, but still I felt mostly frustrated with the stress of life.

I was thankful to head straight from church to Mom and Dad's house.  They had made the most delicious steak dinner ever.  Lance was difficult and I had to eat last, but I enjoyed the food.  The evening air was pleasant and the company was comforting.

I know that Heavenly Father is aware of me.  I know that He will support me, both as a mother and as His daughter.  It's interesting to know on on hand that I'm living the most blessed life, and on the other hand to feel so very overwhelmed.  There are so many things calling for my attention, things that I know I need to be doing, and things that I want to be doing.

I used to joke (mostly to ease people's minds) that having six kids wasn't much different than three.  Once you are doing it, you just add a few more kids, no problem.  But today, I thought, it is different. It's exhausting.  I have six people (if you don't include me and the things I have to worry about for Greg) that I'm in charge of making sure that they eat properly--not too much, not too little, that they sleep properly, that their social lives are functioning, that they are spiritually progressing, that they are keeping their grades and learning going, that they are physically fit and athletically challenged, that they are safe and well adjusted and kind and friendly, that they are independent and ready for life without me, that they feel properly loved and attended to, that they are dressed and well behaved and well prepared.  I'm trying to keep up on school and scouts and young women and doctors appointments, orthodontists, and dentists, and sports programs and teams, and vacations, and house work and laundry, and a marriage, and school volunteering, and training for a marathon, and teaching a primary class, and being a spiritual being. I'm trying to do family history, and journal writing, and flossing my teeth.

I can't get out of bed, and Lance is the best snuggle buddy.

And tonight, I just felt done.  So, I will go to bed, as my mom always says, and see how things look in the morning.  My lovely running group texted, and I just had to ignore it.  Not tomorrow.  I'm just too tired.

 

We hold hands the whole time we lay there together.  :)