April 24, 2017

I heard someone say this the other day:  I think we were aware of our trials before we came to earth.  I think we agreed to them.

That thought has stayed with me for a few days.  I could understand how that might be true for some trials.  Things that seemed hard at first, but actually shaped and molded us into more Christ-like humans beings, might have been welcomed as we looked forward to our lives here on earth. In fact, as we look back at those kinds of trials, they seem like God's plan for sure. But some tragedies just seem too tragic, too earth-shattering, too...  I don't know.  Some tragedies seem so hard to wrap our minds around that I can't imagine anyone agreeing to something that would wreak such havoc upon their family and their lives.  I recently heard of a mother giving birth to her eighth baby and then passing away right on the spot.  And I still can't get over the stories of people backing up a car over their own children.  That sounds devastating.  How could those be part of God's plan?

I called Mom about a few things today and we had a long, lovely phone conversation.  As we discussed some hard things that a few of my friends are going through, we started to talk about the challenges of life.  Somehow, in our conversation, we brought up my cousin's wife, Meg, who is in a wheelchair, but also an amazing motivational speaker.  She is a major source of inspiration to me, and to countless others!  We talked of her positive attitude, of her great example, and of her endless gratitude.  It brought us a smile as we laughed about Meg's good sense of humor.  Later, I had the fleeting thought, I wonder if Meg knows that she matters in my life.  I don't even know if she knows who I am!  And here I am living my daily life, thinking of her when I need a boost.  I recently read about Meg's little daughter asking her to stand up from her wheelchair. She was done having her mommy sit.  It broke Meg's heart.  No, it shattered it.  Would Meg have ever agreed to that?

I suddenly had a thought of Meg, in heaven before we came here, being told that her life would be super difficult.  Then I imagined her being told that she would bless and encourage and inspire thousands upon thousands of people on earth.  I'm sure she has even saved people.  Would she have agreed to that?

Then I thought of the Chris Williams story that has pretty much gone viral.  His family was hit by a drunk-driving teenager.  His wife and a few of his children were killed in the accident.  It. Was. Heartbreaking.  But his story about forgiving the young driver, even helping that boy to change his life around, has been shared and talked about constantly since it happened.  What if he and his wife were told about the way their life would go on earth, and they were told that their time together would be very short?  I think of them being told that their story would help and bless and inspire thousands upon thousands of people.  I wonder if they looked at each other and thought, "We will know about the gospel.  We will be aware of the Plan of Salvation.  We know we will see each other again.  And just think of all the people we will help.  Let's do it!"  Would they have agreed to that?

I've always thought about the ways our trials can shape and refine us.  And I've long known that other people's stories can have a huge impact on our lives, but I've never thought about how a trial's sole purpose might be to change and save other people.  Or that someone might have been willing to endure a terrible tragedy for other people's sakes.

I'm not sure if this is making sense.  But when I thought about it, it really hit home to me.  No one is living an isolated life.  We are all interwoven into this beautiful earthly experience.  The old saying that it matters not the trial, but the way we react to the trial, is so true.

So here we are on earth.  We are subject to pain and misery and sorrow.  And we are blessed with joys and triumphs and happiness.  Through it all, it matters how we react.  It matters how we live.  Maybe it matters to hundreds and thousands of people.  And maybe it just matters to one.

Maybe as I sat there ready to come to earth, I was told of my own trials and how they would save me.  Would I have agreed to that?