I took Emma to a Sports Medicine doctor to talk about her shin splints. It honestly brought up a lot of painful memories for me. I suffered with my shin splints for three years straight in high school. I told Emma that half of the time I am trying to just completely ignore that she has shin splints (I'm in denial!), and the other half of the time, I am so completely sad and overwhelmed about it (or, overreacting!!).
The doctor had some good ideas for us, but mostly Emma just needs to give her shins a break. She's been growing and intensely working out, and she has probably inherited the risk of shin splints from me. When the doctor said to Emma, with a big smile, Well, you can probably thank your mother, I knew he was right.
I took Emma straight to The Running Store to buy some inserts for her shoes. I wanted to buy the everything that might help: inserts, compression socks, muscle rollers... But the nice man at the running store tried to calm me down. He had us start with inserts. And he seemed so confident that she would heal. I realized I was totally lacking any faith that her shin splints can get better. Just because mine didn't doesn't mean hers won't. The doctor was confident too. So, I told Emma as I drove her back to school, we are just going to assume that this CAN get better.
I now totally understand why my mom drove me to physical therapy three times a week, and why she took me to doctors, and why she bought me lots of different shoes, and why she iced my shins, and why she worried, and why she prayed for me. Emma is my beautiful daughter, and I love her so much. I want her to be pain free. Of course I want her to be pain free! But actually, her life won't be pain free. Mothers can't always protect their children. And that's definitely a hard lesson to learn.
As I walked through my own painful memories today, I also remembered the sweet moments. I remembered my high school trainer who taped my legs every day. And I remembered how my coaches dragged the exercise bike into the gym so I could ride it when the team did sprints. I remembered all of the love and support from my mom as she tried to help me. I remembered the blessings from my dad as he tried to help me, too.
So I guess what I really want is for my daughter to have a life with a full range of experiences. And I want her to feel the golden threads of love weaving through every fabric of her life--love from her parents, love from her family, and most importantly, love from a Heavenly Father, who is very aware of each of us.
Maybe I'm a better mother to Emma, right here, right in this instant, because of the pain I suffered in high school. If so, then I wouldn't change a thing. :) I'm so thankful that I've had a life wrapped in so much love. I'm so thankful that I have a wonderful mother! And that I am now a mother. I am amazed every day at how incredibly blessed I am. God is good. So very good.
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