January 16, 2017

At 2 a.m. Emma started throwing up.  And then Lance woke up.  He was wide awake.  Every time I thought maybe I had Lance getting sleepy as we lay together in my bed, I would hear Emma start to throw up again.  He would hear it too.  Then Owen came down.  The three of us tried to lie quietly on my side of the bed together.  Eventually I was able to move Owen to the mat on the floor.  Then Emma started throwing up again.  And Lance wouldn't even think of letting me leave him behind to go help Emma.  So we'd go out to the family room to help.  Pretty soon Lance refused to leave the family room.  Emma was so miserable.  We tried watching movies and giving her sips of water.  And whenever I would think about how tired I was, Emma would throw up.  At 6 a.m. Emma and Lance both fell asleep.  I quietly turned off the television and carried Lance back to his crib.  It felt so good to crawl into my bed.  I was thankful that today is Martin Luther King Day and no school.  At 6:15 Greg's alarm went off.  He pushed snooze.  Ten minutes later, it went off again.  Ten minutes after that, Owen woke up for the day.  And Emma threw up again.

Who needs sleep?

As I drove down the road to Maverick to pick up some Sprite and Gatorade for Emma, I thought about my night.  Just yesterday when I got everyone to bed at a decent time I felt a glimmer of hope that for the first time in my motherhood life, I would start to see a full night's sleep consistently.  But maybe not yet.  Maybe I've got a few more years.  Maybe that's okay.

Good night, Diary, I am tired.