The second day of the year! We started it off with a bang! Emma tossed her cookies in the night. I decided that I was feeling sick, too. It was a good excuse to climb back into bed with my brand new Minky blanket after dropping Julia off at her early morning practice. Greg went back to work today, but the kids don't start until tomorrow. I eventually pulled myself out of my warm bed to face the day. I've sort of been lacking ambition lately. I tossed some cereal in the direction of my little ones, got myself put together, and headed to the high school. Today was class-change day and Emma and Julia both needed adjustments to their schedules. I waited in line with the other high schoolers, wishing that Emma felt good enough to join me. But I finally got it done just in time to pick up Julia from practice. She convinced me to stop for Einstein bagels on the way home (which had originally been our plan for the last day of the break, but then Emma made me think otherwise. I didn't know Emma was texting Julia telling her to beg me to pick them up anyway!). Apparently bagels did the trick because all of us started feeling much better after a bagel or two.
My dang back is super out of sorts. And that's all I want to say about that.
It is also very cold outside for St. George. The sun is shining, but it is cold!!
I really don't want Christmas break to be over. It is so much easier to have my kids at home. I'm going to be one sad lady in the morning.
I climbed into the bathtub last night, hoping to ease my back, and moaned a little to Greg, who was sitting on the bed with a crossword. "I don't have any good talents or hobbies," I complained after perusing Facebook, the land of the amazingly talented people. And of course, Greg quickly reassured me that, yes, I do have talents and hobbies. I know I do. I just have been feeling a little down because my talents aren't all that visible. I don't excel in photography, art, home decorating, cooking, baking, physical exercise...I don't have some cool business or "side gig" that is going gang busters. I don't have a job (thankfully), and I don't even have friends. Boo hoo. Boo hoo. Well, that's about how I felt sitting in that warm tub. I mostly just clean. All day. I am astounded that we can all kill ourselves cleaning for eight straight hours, and then wake up the next day and look around and there is still so much to do. I've been thinking a lot about New Year's Resolutions, I guess. When I close my eyes, I try to envision who I want to be: the woman who wakes up early to exercise, read her scriptures, and shower. Then she bustles around cleaning and cooking and singing with joy. But then I snuggle down in my covers and go back to sleep. Sleeping in feels better.
It seems like we should all go back to school and work on New Year's Day. It is hard to turn over a new leaf on a day when we can stay in our pajamas all day, eating treats, and relaxing!
December about did me in this time. I've evaluated things so that hopefully I can make it better this year. I think I have a pretty good idea about what made it so much more difficult for me: High School basketball!! I never dreamed we would be biting our nails through the varsity games. Julia starts varsity (as a freshman!!) and it has been one of the most exciting things Greg and I have ever had the privilege to enjoy. We are having SO much fun!! She is rocking it. Exceeding all of our expectations! But no matter how much I tell myself to remain calm, I just can't! We have had a few overtime games, and even a double overtime game! Julia is such a big part of the team. I have left every game with my stomach in knots. My emotions are soaring high a couple times each week. After one intense overtime win, Greg and I could hardly sleep. I still felt adrenaline coursing through my veins the next day! And that was going on all through December. Not to mention everything it takes to get Julia to and from practice and early-morning weight training, and to get her prepared and ready for each event. I'm packing uniforms and snacks and getting her fed and into bed...it's stressful.
My other stressor has been Relief Society! I was in charge of the Ward Christmas Devotional, which took a lot of work. Then we've had family deaths and cancer and surgeries. We've also had a lot of changes to get ready for the new year, and on one Sunday in December, our teacher called in sick right as I was walking into church. I taught that lessons, and it went great. But I think I've had a lot going on. Then, you add in Christmas for a family of eight, all the food, all the cleaning, all the work, and I'm ready for a bit of break. A mental break, that is, because I've taken a lot of baths and slept in a lot of days and stayed in my pajamas, and I'm still searching for my gumption.
Tomorrow feels like the day I go back to the grind. It feels like the day I start running around again, just trying to keep it all together. It is also the day Julia's team plays Cedar. They are ranked number one in the State. It feels like I will be super stressed all evening! Deep breaths!! How can my life be so perfect and fun and SO overwhelming and stressful at the same time?!?!
Who am I kidding? I don't really have time to paint or learn photography even if I wanted to. Besides, I've got a Minky blanket and a good book calling my name. I can turn over a new leaf tomorrow. Ha!
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