April 12, 2020
Today is a glorious Easter Sunday! I am sitting outside. The birds are chirping, the grass is so green, the breeze is light and gentle, the sky is so very blue. This is such a wonderful world!! I feel so much love and gratitude in my heart today. I am so thankful for a loving Savior who broke the bands of death for me, for my family, for all of my loved ones, and for the whole human race. What good news!
We are in the middle of such an interesting time in history. We are still in isolation due to Covid-19 (Coronavirus). The kids have been out of school for a month. We haven’t been to church for five weeks. I’ve often dreamed of life just coming to a complete stop. Sometimes I just wished for a chance to catch my breath. And here we are. It is as amazing as I always thought it would be! :) I have cherished this time with my family. I have loved online school. I have loved going out on walks in the mornings and seeing Julia and Miles heading home from their daily walk/run. I have loved swimming leisurely in the afternoon, thinking up fun family dinners, relaxing on the couch together, making funny movies with the kids, playing outside for hours. I have loved a little more time to sleep in in the mornings. I have loved having Greg home a lot more (he still works, but only three shortened days a week). I have loved the free evenings, the slow afternoons, the calm mornings. I have loved the laughter and the fun, the games, and all the time together! I will always look back on this as a gift.
Of course, there are many hard and difficult things going on right now. I must mention those as well. We miss our friends, our ward members, and our extended family. We weren’t able to see our nephew Collin be married to Makayla Lewis. We had to cancel our Easter Reunion that was supposed to be a glorious time together here in St George. We have stressed as thousands and thousands of people have died around the world. We have worried as Greg still leaves home to go to work. We have cried and cried over Emma’s senior year, cut so heartbreakingly short. We have ached over Emma’s lost track season, the one she had trained so very hard for. We have talked and cried and hugged and yelled through some difficult emotions. We have argued and gotten too lazy, then too bossy, then too irritable. We have tried to adjust to a new schedule, a new life, a different pace, and a life that involves all of us being together all the time. We have freaked out when it seemed like Greg was getting sick. We slept in separate beds for days. Eventually he felt better. We have learned to not waste food, to plan out our shopping trips, to worship at home, to live without the temple, to understand each person’s different anxieties, and to find ways to connect distantly with friends and family. We have sewn face masks, and wished we could go somewhere, anywhere.
And. We have prayed and prayed. We have fasted with the entire world on Good Friday that all of this would end, that life would go back to normal, that the world would be saved. We watched General Conference without a single thing to interrupt. We watched as our Prophet spoke in a small conference room to an empty crowd. We have cried at the sad stories, shared the good news, found new ways to laugh, eaten way too many bundt cakes, watched movies we’ve always wanted to watch, read and reread our favorite books. We have soaked in the hot tub too many times to count. We have listened to a lot of good music. We have practiced the piano more than we ever have. The boys have played a lot of Minecraft, and gone on a lot of bike rides. We have read the Book of Mormon, shared the sacrament at home, talked about the Gospel, written in our journals, felt the spirit, had lots of family prayers.
We are calm. We are peaceful. I cannot believe how good this feels. I am sitting here next to my blooming lilac trees. They are so gorgeous. Their scent has delighted us this past week. I have beautiful music playing on the outdoor speakers. I can hear the kids, who are swinging in their hammocks, laughing together. My joy is full to overflowing. I am so very torn. I want this pandemic to end. But I never want this to end.
